21. Coward

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(A/N: I don't think you guys understand how your kind words make me feel, i'm like severely mentally ill and i've been hiding under my covers for 2 weeks unless i was forced to go to class or to work, but then i decided to write a book. I thought to myself, "Maybe this will get my mind off of it." because i've always loved to write, i didn't expect it to get any reads, and that didn't matter to me because the whole point of me writing this is to get me out of that state of mind. And your funny comments and encouraging words made me get out of bed yesterday. I know how dramatic this is, but, i enjoy reading your comments more than actually writing. I know this is a goofy book, it's not a serious novel and it's silly. But it's how i like my fanfics to be like, cringy and stupid. So thank you.

From the bottom of my heart, Thank you.)

P.S. I have a reference from my favorite show in this because it fit the plot lol.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

I got no reaction out of him.

I was screaming and pounding on his chest, like a love sick lunatic.

But he didn't stop me, he let me let out my rage.

Eventually he grabbed my wrists and stopped me,

I never thought someone would bring this much rage into my heart.

It's like i'm picking petals off of a flower, he loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not.

What do you want from me?

"Can we talk somewhere more private." He asked. Looking around to see people staring, shock written all over their faces.

I hesitated, do i even want to speak to him?

But i nodded yes, why? Because i'm an idiot.

He then grabbed my left wrist and we began walking inside. He took me to the debriefing room, and sat me down.

He began pacing around the room, clearly stressed. How long did he think he could hide this from me?

"Why didn't you tell me." I was first to speak.

"I don't know."

I got up, now i'm fucking furious. I don't know? I DON'T KNOW?

"What the fuck do you mean i don't know?" I forced him to look at me.

"I couldn't bring myself to tell you." He mumbled, but then his tone changed, he's angry. "So i thought if i made you hate me you would stop loving me." He shouted.

I waited for him to continue.

"But you don't fucking listen, you never fucking listen. If you left me alone when i told you too than we wouldn't be in this mess!"

Is he gaslighting me?

"Are you actually putting the blame on me? Are you fucking serious right now?"

"It is your fault. If you had only listened you wouldn't be so upset right now." He continued to shout.

"Wait, I wouldn't be so upset? Do you even care?" I started laughing, "What the actual fuck is wrong with you?" I was so close to spitting in his face.

He is a cruel man. And will always be a cruel man.

"Quit throwing your tantrum. I don't have time for this." He started walking out,

"Why are you doing this to me?" I began crying, i never let him see me cry. "One minute you're good to me, then another minute you're cruel. Did i do something?"

He stormed back in,

"Listen to us y/n! This is toxic!"

I stayed quiet.

"We are in a toxic relationship, Y/n. I keep making you cry and breaking your heart yet you blame yourself!"

"You want me to blame you?" I cried out.

"Yes for fucks sake!"

"You fucked up Simon!"

"Thank you!"

"You put me in a position where i constantly have to blame myself! You hurt me, again! Where i have to make up excuses for you, again!"

"Why do you keep doing that!" He ran up to me and grabbed me by my shoulders,

"Because i fucking love you!"

"Then stop loving me!"

I cried out, "It's not that easy."

The room went silent.

No one spoke a word for what felt like an eternity.

"So is that it then?" i asked.

"Yes, i guess it is." He responded, angrily.

"So you want nothing to do with me?" i sound so pathetic.

"No. I don't."

"Well then i guess this is a goodbye." I said.

"I guess it is."

He then pulled his mask down and smashed his lips into mine, and grabbed my hips and placed them on the table in the middle of the room. He began taking my shirt off,

"You're not getting any." I slightly pushed him away and cross my arms.

"Yup, didn't think so.."

"So now what?" i asked.

"I don't know."

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