The Mighty Ducks Imagines

Never Trust Goldberg

The most underrated trio around is absolutely myself, Averman and Goldberg. I've always been best friends with Averman - we've been neighbours our whole lives. We were the first people to befriend Goldberg when he moved here from Philadelphia. Though we're friends with the whole team, the three of us quickly became thick as thieves. I even got a summer job at the Goldberg family diner last year. We're like your low rent comedy Bash Brothers!

Since we've been at Eden Hall, we've had to stick together more than ever. Averman's typical humour has been getting him in trouble - and me because keep laughing at the worst moments. We get in the most trouble with Orion which isn't great considering how much time we spend on hockey. Goldie, however has had a few problems in our short time here.

Orion has been on his case this whole time. Goldie doesn't practice and it shows. With everything going on here, he still puts in plenty of hours at his family's diner. The poor boy is overworked - me and Averman are basically his emotional support people. This trio is like that for each other since we have to be the uplifters of the team. It's a tough job but we accept it with pride.

With Goldie being a little rusty, Orion has done what's ultimately best for team. He has made Julie the starting goalie. That means that Goldberg is our backup. And boy do we know it. Ever since the roster was revealed, Averman and I haven't been able to hear the last of it.

Our trio and a couple other Ducks just had the same English class. Naturally, Averman, Goldie and I head to get lunch together. Let the complaining commence.

"Who has the better glove?" He whines as we walk down the line with our trays of food.

"She does, Goldberg." I remind him.

"Okay, but who has the better stick?"

"You do, Goldberg." Averman answers.

"Who has more game experience?"

"Also you, Goldberg." I glance at Averman and roll my eyes.

"I rest my case! What does she have that I don't?"

"Agility, cat-like reflexes, brains." I list off her strengths.

"So, you're saying that if I lost a few pounds I'd get back to first?"

"I think it'd be easier to make her gain a few pounds." Averman tries to help with a terrible idea.

"Dude, what's wrong you? Don't encourage him. What did Julie ever do to you?" I scold them as we manage to pass the Varsity table unbothered by them.

"Hey, I'm just trying to help out a friend." Averman defends his awful suggestion.

I shake my head at the childish behaviour I'm witnessing as we approach the team's usual table. Most of the team is already sat down. I sit beside Averman as Goldberg takes the seat opposite him - leaving an empty space in front of me. A couple of minutes later, I cut off our conversation to greet my friend as she fills the vacant seat.

"Hey, Jules."

"Hi, guys."

Though we all make small talk, it doesn't take long for a bitter Goldberg to put his evil plan into action. He starts spouting lies, claiming to be proud of Julie's success. He then offers  to be a nutritional advisor, saying how the mountain of goodies in front of him being packed with sugar helps. I love the guy but I wouldn't take nutritional advice from him. She's actually believing him as Averman hides his snickering. I can't just watch this happen.

"Don't believe a word he says." I interject.

"Huh?" Julie is confused.

"He's sneaky. He did the same thing to me once."

"Really?"

"When?" Goldberg gets insulted.

"This was back in out district 5/early Ducks days - so you didn't know us yet." I start to recall the incident. "I played way more defence back then because we hadn't really figured out positions yet. I was great at defence, right, Averman?" I drag him into this.

"That is true."

"I had a month or two where I didn't care about getting hurt. So, I'd sacrifice my body for the play a lot. You know, I'd jump in front of Goldie and stop some pucks and make his life easier."

"Like good defence should." Averman sides with me as Julie listens intently.

"But Greg the ungrateful here got salty because he thought I was stealing his thunder and not letting him do his job. He didn't let on though. I was at the family diner and he brought out a pile of goodies - said he was proud and grateful for how I was playing. Gave me the "honour" of trying all the new stuff. He made me eat it all - I was none the wiser so I didn't question it. There was something in them. Puked my guts out. Could barely move in practice so he faced more shots."

"What? I'm insulted by that!" It's true though.

"Sounds like you just overdid it." Julie shrugs. I turn to Averman in disbelief - I thought she'd be smarter than this.

"Thank you!" Goldberg immediately goes back to lying through his teeth. "Ow! What was that for?" He whines after I throw an apple at his head.

"You're backup - just accept it!"

"You know, I don't appreciate you throwing stuff at me. I mean, why am I always getting hit?" His voice gets higher with every rant.

"How many times, Goldie - you're a goalie, man. Deal with it. You should be used being hit in the face." How many times are we gonna have this conversation?

"Yeah, with pucks not apples!"

"You want me to hit you in the face with a puck?" I question, dead serious.

"Who would say yes to that?"

Eventually, our bickering ends and we  go about things as normal. Julie ignores my precautionary tale and proceeds to stuff her face with everything Goldie has to offer. I guess she's gonna learn the hard way.

Cut to practice...

Like any other practice, Orion is making us do laps to. Warm up. As I suspected, Julie can barely move. Coach yells for her to pick it up but she can't. Almost immediately, she leans into the box and pukes up her guts just like I did.

"One cupcake over the line, cat lady." Goldie celebrates as he skates past and takes his place between the pipes after Orion yells out a pun.

"I tried to warn you." I state as I stop beside her.

"I know." She manages to stand straight at the vomiting stops.

"I told you - never trust Goldberg."

"Trust me, I won't make that mistake again."

I hope Goldberg enjoys his short time as netminder because Julie, Averman and I are gonna get him back for this. Never. Trust. Goldberg.