41 - Love made me crazy

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I cringe at her shocked face

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I cringe at her shocked face. "I wasn't planning on it; Kate found me outside and got upset because I was sleeping on your porch and it kind of became a thing after that," I start to ramble, but she cuts me off with a swift wave of her hand.

"Outside?"

"Yes," I confirm, "I made sure she is okay, and Nora wouldn't let me rest until I was close, you know... just in case. I'm sorry I never meant to sneak around and lie to you. But I didn't know what else to do."

She rubs her face and leans back. "So, you are telling me you sleep here every day?"

"Almost, yes. But you have to understand; I couldn't sleep, and I couldn't eat. Nora was driving me crazy. I am so sorry, Rose, but you can't blame me for being afraid or overly cautious. He scared all of you, especially her."

"He?"

With the same cold and dismissive vibe that my soul gets whenever I think of him, I say, "Richard."

"Richard? He was here months ago, months Ann. You have been doing this for months?"

"She is a bit slow today, isn't she?" But I hush Nora. I can't have her bullshit comments right now.

"It's not her fault," I say, "She never asked for this. She doesn't deserve to be treated like something is wrong with her. I know I should have ended things the day I found out, but I couldn't. How can it be wrong, Rose? She's... she's my mate. Why would the Moon Goddess give me something so precious and wonderful for people to call it a flaw in nature in her name?"

"Honey," Rose says in a hushed tone before rounding the table with long steps and squatting in front of me, taking my hands into hers. "It's okay."

And that's when I see it. Dark wet spots tint the light blue of my jeans. "It's not," I sob. When did I start crying? "I don't want her to feel anything less than perfect. She isn't an-" I take a shuttering breath, "She isn't an abomination."

"And neither are you," her voice is as gentle as her hands caressing my cheeks.

"That's not how people will think when they find out."

"They might surprise you. Not everyone is clinging to the old ways."

I huff, "My mother once told me she would rather have no child than such a disappointment."

As pained as Rose's expression is, there is a hint of determination behind her eyes that gives me a little hope. "I am sure she didn't mean it like that. I know your mother loves you, but she is ...."

"Old-fashioned."

"Yes. She reminds me of my mother sometimes," she cackles and quickly adds, " But don't you dare tell her that."

We both laugh and try to lighten the mood, but it is still tense. These little moments, the chuckles and laughs, keep me sane and stop me from crying again.

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