Christmas Gone Wrong (VegasPete) - Completed

Buddy

24th December 2022

Dearest Snowflake,

I am filled with varied emotions right now. I have been for the past few hours ever since I read your letter. These lines alone took me quite a few minutes to write. I thought a lot about what I should say and how I should say it. After staring out of the window at the crescent moon for long minutes, I finally sat down to write this letter.

I want to say two things before I say anything else.

First. My deepest condolences, Snowflake. What you went through, not many can survive. And no, I do not mean just the accident, but the aftermath it brought too. The difficult nights, the slow mornings, the scary thoughts that it brought along. You didn't stop when you had every reason to. You dragged your foot forward even when the weight of it was heavier than the world. You kept going. I think that is very brave of you.

Second. Thank you for sharing this. I mean it. Thank you for putting your faith in me and trusting me enough to share this. It wouldn't have been easy at all. And no, you did not ruin my day, Snowflake. Please do not apologise for being real. You have something so real, Snowflake, and you'd be surprised to know how uncommon it is. Never apologise for that.

In your letter dated 16th December 2022, you wrote the best words one could possibly have to my letter. I remember reading it multiple times and feeling comforted by your words.

You said: The things you went through, the things you overcame, the things you are still fighting so hard for. All of that. You are so strong. I feel like you don't give yourself enough credit.

But Snowflake, I am not even dust of what you are and I don't think I can ever be. Please don't be mistaken. I am not comparing scars. This is me simply trying to put my poor language skill to use to let you know how deeply I feel about you. Because you? You are phenomenal.

God, I wish you could see my face when I say this because I am unable to explain this feeling but you—ALL OF YOU!—move me. You move me, Snowflake. You inspire me. I have found a safe place between your words and you may not know this, but it has been comforting me in more than one way. I am so grateful to have you here.

Back out while you can. I am not the person you should care about. Do not like me. Do not get attached to me. I am not worth the trouble. And If I ever disappear on you, think of it as good riddance because that is exactly what it'd be.

It's simply that I know you can do better without me.

How do you know that, Snowflake? Well, let me share something.

I keep your letters in the drawer of my nightstand and read your letters every night before I go to sleep. It started as something I felt like doing one night and after every night that followed, I found myself reading your letters to sleep. As weird as it may sound, I am positive that your words release the Happy Chemicals in my brain. You're a medical student so you must already know what that means. :)

What I am saying is, let me decide that for myself. If I care for you, let me. If I like you, let me. If I get attached to you, let me. And if I think that you are worth all the trouble, then please, do let me. Let me think that you are the most wonderful person in the world. Let me make the choice. Can you do that for me, Snowflake?

I had another session with Mr Korn today, and the first thing I did after getting back home was to find my little corner and read your letter that was waiting for me on my desk. From whatever little interactions I have made with Mr Korn, I can see that he is good at what he does. I am thankful that you found him and that he was able to help you.