Sudden decisions

29 - Confrontation

Can

I can't believe it.
Sanem found out that I'm the albatross she's looking for, we got engaged officially and shared a kiss that was pure magic, yet she still seems unable to accept what's between us and all because of that Osman, damn him.

I walk briskly towards her house, I feel her presence beside me, but I don't want to look at her or touch her. I just have to try to remain calm and keep at bay the anger I feel at the thought that she has someone else in her heart and mind.

The intensity with which she responded to my kiss had made me think she had surrendered to me and accepted what we are now to each other. Soon we will be husband and wife, nothing can stop it, but I cannot accept that for her 'it is not easy'. Her words hurt, I am not comfortable with the idea of being about to marry a woman for whom 'it is not easy' to accept becoming my wife.

We arrive in front of her front door and without looking at her I turn around ready to leave, warning her. "I'll meet you tomorrow at the agency, then I'll pick you up at 8pm to go to the Humanitarian Relief Foundation benefit together."

"What, you want me to go with you?"

I look up at her in spite of myself, she seems almost scared at the idea of being seen in public with me and this, if possible, infuriates me even more. What does she think? That we have to hide from the world and keep our engagement a secret?

"Yes of course, you are officially my fiancée and it seems normal that you should accompany me to the event since I have decided to support the campaign"

"But there will be so many people there, your mother and.... Polen"

I make an annoyed grimace. "Yeah, they'll be there too apparently, but I don't care and neither should you".

I see her stiffen and raise her chin in an almost defiant gesture. "Of course, I don't have to care that your ex-girlfriend is at the event tomorrow night, just like I don't have to care that she lives in your house right?"

I am taken aback, I didn't think he knew that Polen has settled in my house. I am about to explain that she is only there because she is a guest of my mother when I see her put the key in the door, open it and enter the house after greeting me quickly:"See you tomorrow".

I stand still for a few moments, watching the closed door leaf, the same door I had rung a few hours earlier full of expectation for what was about to happen. I turn to go back to my off-road vehicle, telling myself that this is certainly not how I imagined this evening would end. I get behind the wheel and look up only to once again see the curious face of my neighbour peeking out from behind the lace curtains of a dark window. Doesn't this woman ever sleep?
She greets me with her hand, as if it were normal for her to be there snooping in the middle of the night, and I, in spite of myself, smile in response to her greeting and then start the car and drive off with my mind and heart confused by the events of this surreal evening.

Sanem

I close the door to my room and lean back against it, letting myself slide slowly to the floor.
I bring my hands to cover my eyes wondering how I could have got myself into this huge mess. Can is right, it almost seems like fate has wanted to play with us and our lives, it all seems so absurd and instead I have to accept that it is nothing but reality.

I am about to marry Can and our relationship is far from clear. I will soon be his wife and I don't even know how I feel about my future husband, or rather, I know perfectly well that he attracts me like a magnet and that every time we are near each other there are sparks of passion but...

I get up tiredly starting to get ready for a night that I imagine is already sleepless, I don't think I can stop thinking about Can being the albatross. I turn to look at the large poster on the wall opposite my bed, the beautiful albatrosses in flight that are the first thing I see every morning when I open my eyes. In the little light coming from the street lamps I can see the majesty, the strength of these animals just as I now realise I have grasped, from the first time I met him, the charisma and charm of Can Divit. I sigh, letting myself fall weightlessly onto the bed.
Can is the albatross. Can is the albatross.
I grab a pillow and squeeze it tightly in my arms, thinking back to the kiss we exchanged tonight on the rocks. It was wonderful to feel myself held in his strong arms again and to be able to taste his lips recognising them as those of my albatross, I feel my heart quicken at the mere thought.