Author's Note (The Villain Series 1)

Kabanata 5

Warning: This chapter mentions suicide. This may bring discomfort for some readers, so please be advised. Prioritize one's state of mind all the time. Thank you.

"ADAMAS!"

"Mr. Adamas!"

He closed his eyes intently and listened to the sound of footsteps closing in. Hindi na niya mabilang pa ang araw at gabi na dumaan. Hindi niya na rin mabilang kung ilang beses nang bumabalik ang dalawa para bigyan siya ng pagkain. Pero kahit ni isang beses, hindi niya ito ginalaw.

Wala siyang gana.

"Dalawang linggo ka nang nakaupo r'yan. Buti at buhay ka pa," nakapamaywang na saad ni Gonietta. Kinuha nito ang pagkain na hinatid nila kahapon at pinalitan ng dinala nila ngayon.

"Now I'm more convinced na hindi ka nga tao." Logan sighed. "Hindi ka pa rin ba tatayo? Walang magbabago kahit umabot ka pa ng buwan sa paghihintay."

"She will be back."

"She's not!" kaagad na sagot nito dahilan para mapakuyom siya.

Tinaas niya ang tingin. Sasagot na sana siya nang may hinagis na phone si Logan sa kama. Tinignan niya ang nakasulat sa screen. Tuluyan siyang nanghina nang mabasa ang nakasulat.

It was a news from two years ago containing Noa's death.

"Can't you see? Wala na siya Adamas. We're not lying."

Umiling lang siya bilang sagot pero ang mga luhang no'ng nakaraan niya pa pinipigilan ay tuluyan nang nagbagsakan.

"She's dead, Adamas. And you have to accept it."

"I know!" singhal niya. Nanginig ang kaniyang labi at tuluyang nabasag ang kaniyang tinig. Pain punched his chest, making him sobbed. "I . . . know. I know she is dead. I know she will never be back."

He knew it all along. The moment he sat on the bed and hugged the pillow, he knew already what had happened. The dark-clouded emotion came from here--from the very thing he was hugging.

Napahigpit ang yakap niya sa unan. "I know she died here."

Noa died while sleeping on this pillow.

He buried his face on the soft cotton while screaming all the pain he denied for weeks. Not once it crossed his mind that she died. For two years, he thought she had abandoned him. Ang akala niya'y tinalikuran na siya ni Noa. Akala niya'y nakahanap na ito ng panibagong karakter na palagi nitong iisipin at pag-uusapan. Akala niya'y pinagpalit na siya.

But no. She died.

Wala na ang manunulat niya. At para na rin siyang pinatay dahil sa katotohanang hindi niya kayang tanggapin.

The negative emotions he saw from Noa's message started to make sense now. But . . .

"Why did you do this, Noa?" he bawled. Mas matatanggap niya pang may panibago na itong karakter na kinahuhumalingan kaysa malamang wala na ang manunulat niya.

Nanatiling tahimik ang dalawa habang pinapanood siyang ibuhos ang lahat ng sakit sa unan na yakap-yakap niya. Hindi niya lubos maisip na ang Noa na punong-puno ng pangarap at saya ay kayang bawiin ang sariling buhay.

"You said all you want is to live."

How come she decided to end herself? Why?

"Why did you kill yourself?!" His voice echoed as he let out the frustration he kept hidden.

Tumayo siya mula sa pagkakaupo. His entire body was sore, but he endured it and looked at the paper from the table. There must be something he could find here. Noa would never do this unless something had put her in a place where she couldn't think of anything else but leave this world.