Chapter 23

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Y/n POV

I was sitting at the backyard of the university thinking deeply. There were many thoughts that bothered me to the end.

Kimchi doesn’t love me, then am I making it more messier to not to consider his feelings and forcing him to love me?

Rosé would never come back to him, he’ll be broken by the fact right? My eyes filled with tears and jolted up with immense pain in my head.

I just wanted to cry out loud and calm myself. But I’ve nowhere to go, no one to share. I didn’t know when I was already crying a mess with tear stained cheeks.

I was just bawling my eyes out when I noticed someone caressing my back.

“Why are you c-crying—”
I didn’t waste a second and hug him tightly as my life depended.

Y/n: “T-Tae… Please I don’t want this.. I-I can’t t-take it anymore now.. it hurts, it h-hurts a lot! K-Kimchi doesn’t love me, I’m.. I-I am just forcing him to be with me.. h-he loves Rosé, not me! Y-yet again I’m f-forcing him…”

I just burst out crying and totally wetting his shirt, sobbing a mess. Emotions just took over me.

I continued speaking holding him for dear life.

Y/n: “He says right Tae.. I am selfish.. I know I am! Just like the way am trying to hurt him.. I feel so bad of myself T-Tae.. I-I guess.. I guess I-I should just g-give up.. R-Rosé w-would keep you all happy, I s-should just let go of you, I will talk to her”

I pulled out and wiped my tears yet again new flowed. I cupped his cheeks and gave him a weak smile. I tried blinking my tears away but the sight was just blurry.

Yet again I managed to caress his cheeks.

Y/n: “I’ll talk to her Tae.. S-She is indeed, v-very beautiful than me… she’ll be an ideal type for y’all rather than me.. y-you and no one else deserve me. I’m selfish!”

I whispered the last words and hid my face, crying out loud which came out as muffled. My hands shivering as I just cried and hiccuped, don’t know how long I was bottling up them.

“Y-Y/n—”
He started but I was quick enough to cut him off.

Y/n: “I-I am useless Tae.. I was foolish and selfish enough t-that I suffered for months to gain trust and love from you and your a-alters b-but see what am I now?”

I paused and choked on my sob, before continuing.

“I’m still the same, i-instead I am feeling like I just committed a crime to m-make someone like cheerful and happy Kimchi cry, I d-don’t know what to do anymore.. I got hurt in the process b-but now it’s Kimchi who is getting hurt.. I can’t let that happen”

I looked up at him with a weak smile but teary eyes.

Y/n: “I-I’ll help you to get a-along with Rosé.. s-she’s capable enough.. Just like Kimchi said, s-she will obviously love you all, like I did, I’ll go away from here.. n-no one deserves me a-anyways..”

I chuckled dryly and sniffed.

Y/n: “I-I’ll explain this to her”
I nodded looking at him with blurred eyes. He wasn’t showing any emotions or movements.

Y/n: “And then I’ll leave this place..”
I muttered softly not letting him hear anything. I stood from there and walked away towards the restroom to just wash off my messy face.

Kimchi POV

She thought of me as Taehyung.. b-but that’s how I got it how deeply she was broken. She suffered, s-suffered for everyone of us. B-but what I did in return to make her cry and scream like this in pain, which I may not be able to heal.

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