mind over mask

sixty-one

Damian's POV

Marinette and I had never been better.

After her run in with the Joker, we were always together. We shared business classes together at Gotham University, but Marinette had fashion classes while I was in art studies. We'd study together and at night, we would switch off houses.

Father didn't mind, but the rest of my brothers complained at the fact that I was allowed to stay overnight at a woman's house—something they were never allowed to do unless Father was out of town.

The answer was simple—I was the favorite. I was trusted, and Father knew I'd be respectful towards Marinette.

He had grown a soft spot for the French girl, and I guarantee if I wasn't dating her, and she didn't have parents, he would try to adopt her. She fit the mold of the family, dark hair, and bright blue eyes.

But there was no worry, she would be part of this family in other ways.

My heart dropped, because that would be a part of a perfect, idealized future. I did not know what time contained for us, but I knew that I would be forced back to the League of Assassins one way or another. And Marinette would be the Guardian of the Miraculous, her life would be one always on the run.

So I lived in the present, where we couldn't be hurt by expectations and future roles.

Her lips was a lifelong answer. To what, I did not care, but for me it was everything. Even when I slept, she was in my head. She never left...

Separation scared me. I was used to isolation my entire life, in fact, I preferred it. But as the poets say, she was the other half of my soul.

Whether she would admit it or not, she had me wrapped around her finger. I would do anything for her, and it scared me. But I know Father would do the same for Selina Kyle.

I think we change when we encounter love. And that is the beauty of it.

Past me would kill me now for such a thought.

This was one of the rare, few times I wasn't around Marinette, or my family. My thoughts were loudest during these times, where I didn't have to fight to be heard and respected, I was just myself.

Some days it's hard to grapple with my past, but others I know I have truly changed. My actions would prove that until they couldn't.

Yet, the Major felt... strange. Off, even.

It was eerily quiet. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

In the years I've grown in this place, nothing like this had ever happened. It is never quiet, but even when people left to go on missions, something was always happening between these walls.

I silently creeped from room to room, and even checked the cameras I had set up in discreet places.

Nothing.

I went down to the BatCave, but my only companions were the bats that hung down from the stalactites.

A metal scraping on the cavern wall captured my attention, but I couldn't tell where it was from. The bats flew down from their perches, and flew in a flurry. I stayed still, not knowing what was going on.

The bats did not touch me, their wings blew my hair softly into my face, and then all at once, they disappeared.

I grabbed my katana, not knowing what was happening. Someone had breached the BatCave, yet no alarms had gone off.

I crept towards the computer to initiate a lockdown. I would communicate with the rest of the team later, it was better safe than sorry.

My mind flashed with worry, as I feared that my mother sent assassins after me.

Had she or my Grandfather decided to bring me back? Or decided I was a threat to the throne?

The hair on the back of my neck rose, and I knew someone was right behind me. I did not hear their footsteps, only the subtle change of air around me.

The bats had messed with my sense earlier, and I had not realized until it was too late.

Without warning, I turned around, and sent the unknown to the ground. My foot secured his neck, while I twisted his arm behind his back, and seethed, "Who are you and how did you get in here?"

Muffle by the floor, I get my answer, "I live here."

It was Drake.

I removed my foot from his neck, and offered a hand to help him up. He eyed is suspiciously, ultimately brushing it aside, helping himself get up on his own.

It stung. But I deserved it.

Grayson dropped from the ceiling above, and Todd came laughed out of one of the deeper caves within the system of connections.

"We got you gooooood," Jason says, and then high fives Grayson. It echoes across the BatCave, while I hold my ground.

My body language did not dare betray me.

On the inside, I was terrified.

They had won. I could not hear them, nor find them, and magic did not aid them.

I was losing my touch. I was becoming soft.

I could feel the palpable tensions rise up to my throat. This was planned. How long before others slipped through our defenses?

They were smart about it too. Jason I could sense easier than the other because of the pit energy around him. When Jason asked why I could find him more easily, I would lie and say that he was clunky and never careful enough. Fighting would always ensue after.

Dick would break character. I was the closest to him out of the three, and I went to him for advice more often than my Father. That didn't mean we didn't get on each other's nerves.

But Tim and I had always had an unspoken competition. He hated me, and I was perhaps the cruelest to him when I first arrived to the Manor. Apologies would never be enough to fix the grudges between us, but it made him the most motivated to pull something off to prank me.

Dick bragged, "We found all your cameras, which took months, and then Tim reprogrammed them right under your nose!"

Tim looked proud, as Jason clapped his back.

So enraptured in their own laughter of their success, they didn't notice my absence as I slinked away. And honestly, they wouldn't until later tonight.

Dinner would be humiliating.

I was the worst out of all of us.

Why can I be more like my brothers?

Dick is the perfect child. He is the perfect soldier,  good at following orders and following his heart. The first Robin, he showed the way for the rest of us. He is the best of us, the best example.

Jason has had some tough times, and Father tries so hard to connect with him, trying to make up for the past and lost time. It's easy to feel cast aside. He's bold and independent, choosing to suffer instead of sharing his burdens. He is the soldier.

And Tim, he's the smart one. I have no doubt that he will become the world's best detective, rivaling Father. Drake will also inherit half of Wayne Enterprises. He's the brain. He has a purpose. He has proven his worth and belongs to the team—to the family family.

What have I done?

How much blood is on my hands? Too much to ever atone for, no matter the good I put forth in the world.

I did not deserve any of this life I had crafted for myself. I wondered if Mother was right—that I would fall back into old habits, that this was a temporary happiness.

I wondered when she would come to collect me, and put me on the throne of the League of Assassins. The Prodigal son, returned at last.

Unrealistically, I hoped that day would never come.