"No, that was not a relationship, it was just a one-sided thing, well... I", his trembling hands knead the inner wrist, rubbing and scraping the skin muddled under his cuffs, the scars hidden beneath.
"The idea of someone loving me, it was... it bl...
Taehyung left, with Park Bogum much to my disdain, he had offered as always to join and I, as always refused. It's better to spend the time moping than in the company of Bogum.
"Jungkeukie, Hyung is leaving for his shooting in America, next week". He had said before leaving, beaming, and for a moment I felt the hatred surge, for I was not the reason behind his smile.
The smile so beautiful, it is so easy for him to smile, only if he knew how my heartbeat fluctuates from the mere pull of his lips. Only if he knew. One of the many things I observed about him, is his proficiency to know others, making friends appears to be his second avocation. The way, he would get engrossed in their life, asking questions. He wants to know them, and I hate that from the depth of my heart.
Humans desire nothing more than anyone who has ears for them, who would listen to them and their stupid adventures, and Tae, is the person on receiving end of their rants.
He makes friends just as effortlessly as I avoid human interaction, he isn't hard to please, and few words of honesty and common ground are required to become his pal. He isn't hard to please, like my Mother, he doesn't seek perfectionism.
I don't regret buying the house, it is perfect for us, An apartment, as Tae had preferably considered was not an option, especially when he has to practice Piano, which would be rather difficult in those hefty apartments.
He had once said he wished for a house with a garden, as we ate instant noodles in the dilapidated dorm he used to stay in, he was lost in his thoughts, as he probably pictured the place, The house, with its garden full of blooming flowers, soft oceana paint plastered on his room and ash grey on mine, the room we decorated and furnished together, with our bickering about artworks, our lazy evenings in the living room, the place which feels more homely than the cold and dark manor walls have ever been, the home we have built together.
I had fibbed about the prize, knowing he won't step inside unless I crafted a story about rental relaxation, therefore, I did, I composed a story about ease regarding students and practiced for two hours.
Taehyung would say proudly, 'Jungkeukie, he can't lie, all you need to do is to look in his eyes'. He is right though, I can't lie, just to him. I don't want to break the smugness he shows while saying that statement. I have never lied to him about important things, a house's rent isn't noteworthy, and his smile is way more essential.
I'll talk to him, later. I will convince him, he doesn't have to look for a job. He is already doing more than enough. A little pestering and he'll leave the issue, hopefully.
For now, I have to get rid of whatever strange thoughts I have been having.
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The motel is on the south side of Songpa-gu, the district swarmed with clubs and motels. It wasn't arduous to find a gay club, despite the pressure from conservative parties, these clubs work although, anonymously.
