Love You, Hate Me. Fair Trade. (Larry × Travis/ Larvis)

Chapter 6

(Travis)

I was, uncomfortable. I felt grossed out and my shoulder was in pain while I went to lunch.

It wasn't, like having Phillip or my father touch me. It was a gentle and kind touch. It was also unfamiliar and Todd was, gay.

It had been a good conversation sure, but I still felt icky and weird when he touched me. I felt the same way about him touching as I would have say a week ago. It was uncomfortable and made me feel gross.

Even though I didn't like him, even though we could have been friends, even though he was a good guy. Knowing that he was gay, was enough for me to feel grossed out all over again.

I really wasn't trying to be an asshole but it was like my brain just wasn't taking the hint. I sat down at my normal table covering my face with my palms.

Maybe an apology, or just, something. Might have made that less awkward but I wasn't going to. I might be attempting to be better but that didn't mean I was just gonna apologize for no good reason.

I hadn't cursed him out or said something "offensive" so what did I have to apologize for? The weird reacion? The awkwardness? There was nothing to apologize for.

Didn't matter anyways. The class was over who cared anymore? I scoffed in disgust seeing what we were eating. It was some undercooked chicked nugget lookin thing with mashed potatos and an unknown fruit.

The school lunches were always disgusting but it wasn't like my father was gonna pack me a lunch. God forbid I pack it myself. Might as well just eat whats on my plate.

I didn't feel very hungry but I knew if I didn't eat I would end up regreting it. Father probably wouldn't feed me tonight. Phillip was sitting next to me and it went unspoken he knew something was wrong.

Because of course he did, of course I just had to have one of the best people on earth be my friend. I sighed then turned to look at Phillip.

"I'm fine."

"Im sure you are."

I rolled my eyes, turning my back towards him. It was hard to talk to Phillip. Well, sometimes it was hard to talk to Phillip.

I wasn't sure what about him made it hard. Maybe we just weren't compatible, or maybe it was just because I was an asshole and he actually hated me. It was always just so hard to connect with him. It was hard to, to like him.

So most often times than not I found myself eating lunch in the bathroom. Not that I minded, I often times found myself not minding anything at all. So I guess in the grand scheme of things it didn't really matter.

Although I wasn't necessarily eating, in the bathroom. I was technically just sitting on the toilet. It didn't matter, still felt just as lonely as eating on it.

Was also boring.

Isn't much to do while sitting on a toilet and not taking a shit. I didn't even really have the energy to cry either so I couldn't do that either. And if I was to fall asleep the bell wouldn't wake me up.

So yeah, it was pretty fucking boring. Beats sitting in the lunch room next to a "friend" I don't even talk to though.

As much as Phillip was just a joy to be around. He got on my nerves a lot, could just be my irritation levels going through the roof but it didn't change the fact he pissed me off a lot.

He didn't really have to do anything, I think because hes gay and never seems to leave my side during school it makes me angry.

I sighed, resisting the urge to bash my head into the wall. I wasn't, trying to be mean it was like a defense mechanism at this point. Sure Phillip was a good guy and hadn't done anything wrong but just being near him made my skin crawl sometimes.