Love You, Hate Me. Fair Trade. (Larry × Travis/ Larvis)

Chapter 16

(Larry)

Travis wasn't, a good person. Not by a long shot, but, he seemed. Willing? To change? I wanted to believe that he wanted to change but sometimes I'd look at him and he seemed really lost.

Conflicted, he looked conflicted. The whole time he was with me he looked like he had been doing something wrong, I mean he technically had but still.

I wondered if everything he told me had been true or just some pathetic lies to try and get closer to me. Of course, I didn't trust him but maybe it was possible he had been telling the truth.

And maybe he wasn't telling the truth, but who cares? I didn't care if he was but those marks.

Fuck those marks, they were nasty. They were deep and a lot of them were scarred over from what looked like years. Id hate to trust his word but those marks were something undeniable, they had to have come from somewhere.

I didn't trust Travis, not yet, but maybe. Maybe he could change...I probably shouldn't have faith in him but just maybe he really is trying to change.

Maybe I could help him. If I could take the time to tolerate him.

I chuckled at the stupid thought. There were still signs of Travis presence in my room. The music was definitely one.

Then there was the clothes missing from my hamper, and the ones he just abandoned mixed with my clean clothes. There was the smell of weed, and a faint hint of black berry and moss, and....blood.

Travis smelled good, he always had. He must've used a good shampoo or something cause he always smelled like fruit. Then his body wash had to be earthy cause he had a very outsidish smell as well.

His hair smelled like black berry and his body smelled like grass. Fuck, he was so close I could smell him.

I felt my face heating up as I recalled how close he was to me, how he was so close I could smell him.

I didn't know what was wrong with me. I always knew that I liked boy and girls but I had never really explored the part of me that liked men. The only gay person in nockfell as far as I knew was Todd, and Philip, but he wasn't gay. Phillip as far as I knew was just like me, liked both.

Cause, apparently thats a thing. I liked Phillip sure, but he had always kind of reminded me of Sal, if he had never gotten into the accident. Id never pursued him although I did think he was pretty fair looking. But so was Travis...

When he was calm and collected he actually looked pretty from time to time. Sometimes even roughed up he looked nice.

Fuck.

Maybe I was just cursed or something. Maybe Travis had put some kind of spell on me. I had always thought Travis was okay looking but I never once thought of him as attractive until now.

Was it a lack of options? Maybe the changing seasons? Or the weed?

Whatever it was, I needed to push it out of my mind. Travis would need to make some huge adjustments before I even considered something like that, and even then I'd still have to be bat shit crazy!

But maybe I already was, bat shit crazy. I had already considered it, already thought about his hair, and his lips, and his eyes. Had already found small things about him to like. Never thought I'd like anything about Travis Phelps, but here I am.

God damn it. I liked him. I fucking liked him. I wanted to punch myself in the face.

Travis was an asshole, a big asshole who has bullied my friends for years. And I fucking liked him. I liked the way he smelled, the way he talked about space so passionately, the way he wore my clothes without a care simply because he was high, the way his eyes sparkle when the light hits them just right, the way he breathes. I liked him.