Heat Lighting [Scaramouche | Reader]

20 - the shogun's knockdown

Knockdown, ding-a-ling 종이 울려 대네 in my head
(Knockdown, ding-a-ling the bell is ringing in my head)
손가락 하나도 내 맘대로 안 되는데
(One finger I don't like it)
Lockdown, 지금 난 여기 아무것도 갖지 못한 채
(Lockdown, now I'm here with nothing)
꿈속에 꿈믈 꾼 것처럼 헤메어 난 eh-eh-eh-oh
(Like a dream in a dream I'm lost eh-eh-eh-oh)

—KNOCK DOWN-Xdinary Heroes—0:38—

—-

I couldn't keep any solid food down in my stomach for days after I had my breakdown. It all kept being forced out as soon as I swallowed. It was some sort of reaction in my body to what had happened to me, according to Yae Miko at least.

The priestess brought me back to her shrine a few days ago and somehow the Shogun followed. They both looked at me with separate emotions as I upchucked my food three times a day. Pity and disgust, things I was probably used to. I knew something was up with how the Raiden Shogun had come to observe me. Yae and her had been talking in hushed whispers when I was around for a while now. The immortal woman didn't try to take my vision if only that we were on sacred ground. But she did scrutinize me with her gaze. I was always being watched.

Maybe it's for the best. My body isn't the same. I can feel it. Something inside has come undone and left whatever it held back spilling out to the rest of me. Many days I feel lighter, other days I can't get off the ground. I wish Yae would tell me something about it, she obviously knew, but she shook her head every time I asked. I felt alone and caged into Narukami Shrine.

The Shogun would observe me during meals as I heaved what little I ate and she would observe me as I read ancient scrolls. She would whisper about my insolence and whisper about my manners. But weirdest of all, I would find her staring at me in the middle of the night as I looked out over the balcony at my hometown. When I caught her in those moments her eyes were soft and glistening. It was then that I noticed my abnormal appearance.

I looked at Inazuma City and allowed the wind to take my hair into the air. My hand was raised toward the city as if I could touch it, reaching out for a symbol of hope. I heard the Shogun shuffle behind me and when I focused back on my hand, there were glowing particles surrounding it that slowly dissipated, flying toward the capital city of my country. Along with my hand.

"What?"

I exclaimed as my hand disappeared and a gasp escaped my throat. The particles continued to leave my body until the Shogun rushed over and waved a hand in the air, gathering up the ones that had shot toward my hometown and pulling them back to my body. Her hand gently guided those glowing lights to me and the stoic line of her lips titled into a frown.

"You are losing control of your energy when you do that," The Shogun tilted my hand so the palm faced upwards, "if all of your body disperses without a clear destination there is no way to get you back in one piece."

I looked at the woman with curious eyes and an open mouth. She shook her head.

"You are not of this world, [name]. It has been clear to be since you entered my Plane of Euthymia that your body doesn't interact with Teyvat as it should. That mark on your chest is only pulling your soul further and further away from your body."

The tall woman gestured a circle with her hand and a small purple picture of a person with an orb in front of them appeared. As she spoke of my soul being pulled the orb yanked and tugged itself away from the person and their body eventually broke into pieces. I was silent as she explained this to me, but my eyes were wide in disbelief.

"What do you mean 'not from this world'? I was born here!" My voice raised with each word.

Her scrutinizing gaze turned to me with an angry expression, "I mean that should you come into contact with the gods of Celestia they will rip you limb from limb for even existing within their kingdom."