Sanders Sides one shots

Living Is A Nightmare

I thought I'd try something new lemme know if you like it. Tw: self hatred and suicide

Logan was alone in his room. He paced restlessly. Think, Logan. Think. Finally, his useless brain had an idea. He sat down and picked up his phone. 'Hello..?' he typed, unsure if his boyfriend would be awake. Within seconds, a reply came through. 'hi. What's up?'
'do you remember what we spoke about last session..?'
'Yes, why did you ask?'
Logan looks down at his wrist.
'I may have repeated the actions again today..' He feels the guilt we'll up inside of him.
'oh. What do you need hon?' Without the tone of a voice, Logan couldn't tell if Emile was being sarcastic or not. 'you... I need you..'
'well, that's obvious. Be more specific?'
'I.. Need you to hold me...'
'Hold you? How would that help?'
'it'd make me realise how special I am. That I'm not a waste of time.'
There was a long pause. Logan waited for a few minutes until his phone beeped again. 'that's a really deep topic for tonight, hon-'
Oh. Maybe his boyfriend was sick of him. Maybe he should agree with what he thinks. 'I get it... You don't like me...'
'that's not what I meant. Its 3am. Not time for a therapy session. We can talk if you want.' Logan didn't reply.
'Do you want to talk about your feelings?'
He thought. Did he? Probably not. There was no reason to feel the way he was, so why talk about it? 'no...'
'how about a story? How about the one where Remy tried cooking us dinner and nearly burned down the kitchen?'
'no...' He was having some major regrets about disturbing his boyfriend. 'what kind of story would you like to hear?'
He shook his head. It was too full of thoughts to read anything. He sat there. Like a glass of water, his head filled and filled until it spilt over.
'I'M SORRY EMILE BUT I AM GOING TO OFF MYSELF'  he typed the words quick and capitalised them to show his urgency. Emile had seen the message. There was no message back. 'I'm sorry.' Logan was worried. 'please... Don't be mad...'
'what?! Are you okay?! What's happen Ed hon? Tell me, please?'
'don't you remember our last date? We had so much fun, hon. We could do it again.'
'I know...' Guilt boiled up inside him.
'but I need to die..'
'what... What do you mean by that?!'
Tears streamed down his face and for a  moment, he couldn't see. 'this isn't funny! What have you done?'
Logan ignored the questions. 'I am a heartless monster'
'what? Honey. Please. Don't say that! Don't talk like that! Listen to me, I won't let you hurt yourself anymore! I need you!'
'don't kid yourself... Nobody needs me...'
'please don't do this honey. I need you. I love you.'
'I-I need to...'
'no honey I'm begging you! Please! I need you so much! I'm not giving up on you! I love you so fucking much! I can't lose you!'
Logan knew that Emile would be on his way. He reached for the gun in his bedside drawer. He cocked it. 'I love you Dr Emile Picani.'
'I know you do... Please don't go...'
With one final sigh, Logan typed his last text. 'goodbye.' he pulled the trigger.

  Emile was rushing through the empty streets, speeding much faster than legal. He stares down at his phone. 'Goodbye' popped up. 'no! No! No! COME BACK TO ME!' he hit the pedal harder. 'DON'T SO THIS TO ME! DON'T YOU DARE BE DEAD! PLEASE!'
Logans phone still registered him as online. That was a good sign. Right? 'Please...'
'Logan?'
He sent text after text and still no reply. His phone beeped. Logan sanders is offline. Reading those words, Emile swerved the car and crashed into a tree.
The end