Tuesday, October 27th, 2020

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Dear Diary,

I am giving up on school... Like genuinely am pushing through with the fear of my family's reactions. If it were for me, I'd just stop trying at all. My grades are horrible and don't have the motivation to fix them.

The pressure of my parents finding out is consuming me. I'm mad at my brother and Gabby for invading my privacy by hacking into account. Everyone knows what's going on with my school career except me. I don't even know what is going on. Everything is moving so fast. 

I need a break. To just sleep all day or read and not worry about ANYTHING or ANYONE. I am so overwhelmed by myself, for the lack of motivation, the mediocre effort, the lying, but I just can't seem to stop myself. I can't find the excitement anymore.

I just hurt my mom's feelings because I wanted to be left alone. I'm tired of being around them, I'm exhausted of being someone I'm not, I'm hurt that my siblings bully and disrespect me and condescend me.

The days have been the same stupid routine. I hate routines. It's always "how are your grades?". I am so tired of being a teen without papers and always having the fear of being deported. I cannot travel or work. I am suffocating in this house, in this family, in this stupid Pandemic. I want out, I want to stop living up to expectations, can everything just please STOP?!?!?

A/N: Damn so dramatic.

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⏰ Last updated: Dec 25, 2022 ⏰

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