Dear Diary,
The days have been flying by... Every thing feels rushed. I feel like I am stuck in an eternal time lapse where I am the only one standing still. I have stopped caring about things, my body (I am getting so fat and ugly), my grades, my future, my family activities. Every thing has became boring and repeated.
My emotions are all over the place, I was watching a video last night, it was a funny video, but then laughter turned into tears, that wouldn't stop. Which got me so angry on how stupid I was being. It just got me into an emotional mess. I fell asleep and woke up with the worst head ache.
I want so much... a group of friends to do stupid crazy things together, I want to be someone's number 1 choice. I want someone who I can vent too and just not have to pretend to be happy around. That would mean being selfish and that's not fair to them.
My passions are just fantasies, my dreams are scenarios and my hopes are empty wishes. Everybody around me is going on about their lives and I find that I have nothing interesting to say. "oh hey, yeah, I lay in bed all day because I don't have friends to hang out with.", so I just choose to listen and not speak.
The vibe is off, life is dull or it's stressful or it's overwhelming or it's painful, like I am legit developing anxiety and depression and the nightmares at night are not helping. My appetite is horrible. But no. Natasha you have to continue to show everyone you are okay, don't be selfish.
Is this what the future holds? because if so, I don't think I am strong enough to face it or deal with it. I am legit suffocating.
A/N: welp that was depressing, wow. can you believe it's going to get worse?
YOU ARE READING
Dear Diary
RandomNo Cliches. No happy ending. No romance. Just the journey of a girl, of me. This is my diary, the only place I can escape and not be strong, where I can actually pour out my bottled up feelings.
