Less Than Nothing

Chapter 28

Chapter 28

RYAN'S POV

I can only recall two instances where I've been this nervous in my almost twenty five years of life.

The first time was my senior year of highschool.

I'd been boning Katrina Radcliffe regularly for about three months at the time. We had a schedule. Right after school, between the hours of three and four, we'd meet at her place and work out all of our horny, teenage angst.

Since she lived with her parents, we had to make use of our free time wisely. She gave me precisely forty five minutes to handle my business, before I had to leave because she'd be expecting them.

The plan was seamless...all up until it wasn't.

One Thursday afternoon, as I was mid stroke, we heard the sound of an engine in the driveway. Apparently, she forgot that her father had planned to be home early that day.

I was fucking terrified. I barely knew the girl...I was in no way prepared to have a naked intervention with her dad. I ended up having to jump from her second story window.

After that, we never spoke again.

The second time was when I was taking my road test.

In a hurry to leave the house, I forgot to put on my contact lenses. My vision isn't the worst, but it's certainly not the best. During the entire exam, I was swerving and sliding in all kinds of directions. By some miracle, I still passed, and didn't kill anyone in the process.

Those are two different, completely unrelated incidents, but they're the only times I've felt anything remotely close to what I'm feeling now...the subtle trepidation that fills my body, as my knuckles meet Alex's door.

If I'm honest...I don't even know what I'm going to say.

This is literally my last shot at redemption, and I really hope that I don't fuck up.

I don't realize that I'm holding my breath, until the sound of the door knob ratting snaps me out of the try not to breathe challenge I was having with myself.

It turns slowly, and before I know it, Alex and I are face to face.

The last couple times I stood in this doorway were not very pleasant. Things between Alex and I have taken an unfavorable turn, but I'm hoping tonight will fix things.

If she lets me, I will do anything to make it up to her. Anything.

"Ryan?"

"Hi." I don't waste any time. "Can I come in?"

Fully changed out of her clothes from earlier, she wears an oversized Knicks t-shirt that fits just above her lower thigh. Her curls are held up loosely by a clip, allowing the two front strands to cascade around her face.

A subtle sigh escapes me at the sight of her.

She is so damn beautiful, the kind of beautiful that not even the best writers in the world could accurately describe.

I've missed her so much.

Alex looks at me with obvious perplexion, before replying.

"I don't think that's a good idea," she mutters. Her tone is uncertain.

"Five minutes." I plead, taking a step closer. I'm now fully in the doorframe, so she'll be unable to close me out if it comes to that.

In my coat pocket is the letter, which I take out, and hold in the center of my palm.