Less Than Nothing

Chapter 40

Chapter 40

I've been in Aruba for less than forty eight hours. Maggie hasn't even walked down the aisle, and yet I'm tempted to pack a bag and sneak off to the nearest airport.

I had pretty low expectations for this trip, but Jenna showing up was just the cherry to top off this shit-show.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ryan asks for the millionth time. He's perched up by the door of our bedroom, as I stand by the mirror and adjust the straps of my bikini.

"Yes." I lie.

"Are you lying to me?" He raises an eyebrow.

"No." I lie again, this time, in a more convincing tone.

Ryan spent the entirety of last night reassuring me that Jenna being here doesn't mean anything to him. I believe him, I don't think Ryan has it in him to hurt me again after everything we've gone through. But even still, I still have an odd, inexplicable feeling that I can't seem to shake...or even identify. A mixture of confusion, disdain and I'll even admit...jealousy.

Yes, Ryan and I are together now...but before he was with me, he was with her.

He was in love with her.

He almost married her.

Now, I have to watch the two of them pretend to still be in a relationship, while worrying about my own fake relationship and trying not to lose my fucking mind in the process of all this.

"Good," Ryan replies. He joins me by the mirror and grips my waist lovingly, kissing the back of my head. "Because you have nothing to worry about."

"I know."

If it were up to me, I'd use the rest of the morning to sulk as my imagination taunts me further, but Maggie and Aaron are expecting us for a poolside breakfast. It was written in bold on the itinerary. Adrienne is arriving this morning too.

Wonderful.

It all just gets better and better, doesn't it?

I shut my eyes for a brief moment, and inhale the salty air flowing in through the cracked window.

To some degree, I feel like this is partially my fault.

Okay...entirely my fault.

In the midst of wanting my work life to maintain some normalcy, and wanting to keep a good relationship with my boss I somehow spiraled into an even larger predicament, that will surely be more difficult to explain than the simple fact that Ryan had been fucking me since October, and we fell in love in the process.

Silly Alex.

Silly, horny, scared-to-be-unemployed, Alex.

Ryan was right. We should've just told Adrienne about us the moment we started taking each other seriously.

I may have gotten fired, but at least I'd still have some dignity.

With Male Alex, and now Jenna both involved in our scheme, things are likely to take an unfavorable turn.

"We should probably get going," Ryan says, tightening his watch around his wrist. He's right. We're already late.

"Yeah."

I observe him. He wears only a pair of swim trunks, and a thin white t-shirt that hardly conceals the shape of his defined torso. We've only been here for a day, and yet his olive skin is already marked with a gorgeous tan from the blaring sun.

I suck the inside of my cheek, momentarily forgetting about the mess that surrounds us. All I can think about is how hot he is.

And how lucky I am to sit on that beautiful face.