already gone , derek shepherd ¹

chapter thirty-eight.

⋆ ★ ALREADY GONE ━━━CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT 

( DRUNKEN, BLURRY DAYS ) , piece of my heart.

song suggestion: fix you by coldplay.

៚ ......... ˁᱸᲲᱸˀ ............ ༄

JAMIE HELD HER BREATH FOR DEAR LIFE. She looked up from under the water and saw the beautiful, composed sun shining on her. It looked peaceful. And despite the water being cold as ice, looking at the big, yellow star in the sky brought warmth throughout her bones. It was enough of a comfort for Jamie to temporarily forget about the suffocating feeling that was lodged in her throat or the way her brain felt like it was being stuffed with cotton. Right now, it was just her and the sun.

But when does it actually stay sunny in Seattle?

The clouds quickly swarmed over, taking their rightful place back in the Seattle sky and Jamie was left back in reality.

The coldness devoured her as she continued to kick her legs. When she finally pushed her head out of the water, she gasped for air. But it wasn't long until she felt like she was being dragged back down, a massive chain attached to her leg that seemed to get heavier and heavier the more it tried to drag her down.

When Jamie had finally thought to herself that life had been emotionally abusive to her recently, she asked herself one final question before the water consumed her.

What's the frickin' point?

She let the chain take her down, let the water travel through her nose and mouth, until-

The blonde opened her eyes, breathing heavily. The dreams she had felt so read she thought that maybe she had actually suffocated herself. Still feeling slightly that way, she tried to attack her neck, with hope to free the invisible string that tied off her oxygen line, but she realized that she couldn't move her arm.

Tears ran down her face as she continued to try and to try but it was no use. The only thing she could do right now was cry while her breathing was deep and scared. And after trying to move her arms again and it was getting her nowhere, Jamie attempted to move her legs- nothing. She couldn't move anything.

Intrusive thoughts swarmed her brain and as a doctor made them worse. Was she paralyzed? Was she suffering a stroke, maybe a heart attack? Maybe she had a tumor somewhere in her nervous system preventing her from moving. The thoughts raced on and on.

Derek- being the heavy sleeper he is- twisted in bed as he finally felt the bed moving all while hearing the soft cries of his girlfriend beside him. Sitting upright quickly, he saw Jamie lying still- too still- as tears ran down her face.

"Hey, hey," He grabbed her attention, cupping her face in one hand as he sat beside her, the weight in his other hand above her head.

The true, pure fear that was in her eyes broke his heart. Since she couldn't speak or move, she relied on her breathing, trying to feel some sort of oxygen that she was quickly running out of. Breathing in and out of her nose only did so much now that she was obviously hyperventilating.