already gone , derek shepherd ¹

chapter forty-one.

⋆ ★ ALREADY GONE ━━━CHAPTER FORTY-ONE 

( I FEEL CRAZY ) , losing my mind.

!! TW: MENTIONS OF SELF HARM AT THE END !!

៚ ......... ˁᱸᲲᱸˀ ............ ༄

JAMIE WANTED TO QUIT THERAPY FOR A SECOND TIME. Especially since her new psychiatrist, Dr. Madden, had given her the worst news in the world to her. She didn't want to have to sit and listen to something she was probably going to ignore down the road anyways. Therapy right now in Jamie's life felt useless. She felt completely and utterly useless.

But on the other hand, she felt crazy all the time. Like her emotions wouldn't shut the fuck off for once. Not to mention she hasn't slept decently in days that it was starting to become a problem. Maybe it was because she was scared she would end up back at square one, stuck in a worrisome state with her sleep paralysis demons that lurked in between her conscious and unconscious mind.

It was absolute torture.

And she didn't want to quit. She was going to quit.

Walking into Dr. Graham's room, thanking the Lord that Madden wasn't there this time, Jamie sat on her designated side of the couch before saying, "I think I need to quit." She got straight to her point. "I just don't think this is working out for me and it's frankly a waste of my money."

"Jamie." The therapist began with a sigh. He didn't think after their last encounter that she would want to quit - again. "We had our first real, honest conversation about your feelings and now you want to leave? That timing doesn't strike you as strange?"

"No," She answered, slightly aggressive for it only being seven in the morning as she checked her watch - her dead mother's watch - that sat on her wrist. "And I'm still firing you."

"No, you're quitting." Graham corrected his patient with a knowing look on his face.

Jamie scoffed, slightly offended at the words coming out of the male's mouth. "I am not quitting. I don't quit, I am not a quitter."

"Well, actually you do." The therapist then grabbed his notebook and opened up to Jamie's section of notes, which unfortunately was a bigger portion of the book. "See, your mother quit your father. Your father quit you, and now it momentarily seems like you are quitting your boyfriend. And if I read your hospital chart correctly, you quit your life on a couple occasions." Graham said with absolutely no remorse. "You quit. It's what you do, Jamie. Unless we're talking about your smoking addiction-"

"-now you're really fired." The blonde cut him off with a glare before storming out of the room and mumbling, "You are not a quitter, Jamie Grey."

"Why are you talking to yourself?" A certain accent brought Jamie out of her own thoughts. Kathryn Harper stopped her friend dead in her tracks as if a ghost had practically popped out of nowhere and scared the poor girl to death. "Woah, you okay?"

"Yeah," She nodded dumbfoundedly. "And no reason." The blonde instantly replied. "It's my psychosis. I'm talking to it because apparently my therapist doesn't want to listen to me and I don't want to burden anyone else.." Jamie then stopped herself and shook her head, embarrassed. "I'm rambling, sorry."