The Poem We Cannot Read

Chapter Seventeen

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“Bittersweet? No, just bitter, the taste of your tongue. Words you can’t have back, so they linger.”
—Coco J. Ginger—

Dearest Jaehyun,
I am particularly not very good with words; you might (always) know how bad I am with all of this. Leave alone the first letter that I sent to you eight years ago. That one was disaster. I apologize because you won’t find any difference with this one. I am naturally a horrible writer and obviously bad at expressing myself as well. Well, even though I know that you will never set any expectation on me; you aren’t obliged, and you realize that quite well. Besides, for these past two months, your love to Rose is undeniably huge and unbreakable. It is very much noticeable; I just know it through Rose’s beaming face and several times through your own expression when you pick her up late at night.

It will probably sound a little bit weird for me to say this, but you and Rose are making such a lovely couple. Like a puzzle which finally found its last piece, Rose’s existence just naturally makes you more perfect and happier. I do not send this email to confuse nor bother you; simply because I want to check on you (either you still use this old email address or not). This is the only way I could take because sending a text felt unbearably heavy, it would create an unnecessary misunderstanding that I believe you would hate so much. You used to be very fond of peace and always living your best life; now you’re dating Rose without any intention to keep it on the pocket, your peaceful life will promptly come to an end. Bet you’ve known the consequence (you wouldn’t be that confident to give no shit because this is kind of serious matter for us celebrity). Considering how kind and wise you are, you (without no doubt) will never put somebody’s dream or career at risk. Tell me I am not wrong.

Rose, as you may already know, is a sweetheart and beauty. We are getting along quite well in the workplace as she continuously shows me with so much support both in work and personal life. She might think that me and Taehyung are in romantic relationship; well I have a feeling that Rose also considers both of us as careless and not very careful with out life. That’s not true. You have known the two of us for years; you can make a better judgement. But that was lovely though; by having someone who genuinely cares for you is great and simply heart-warming. Is that what you were searching all this time? Are you happy now?

I have told my family about our relationship; that we decided to end this for good and both of us oy want to focus on our career as for now. My dad, as you might know, was very disappointed because he thinks that no one can be as capable as you to be trusted as son-in-law. He said, ‘I really care about you. That’s the reason why I wished only Jaehyun to be your husband. You loved him and he is a brilliant man. Let’s put aside the fact that he won’t inherit any fortune from his family since he was born last (President Jung is a cruel man that will never cry even if his youngest dies), I genuinely respect him as the way he is. Let me ask you this: Is that your final decision? I will not interfere in your personal life, you’re old enough to decide which path you want or do not want to go in. I let President Jung knows about it; I have a feeling that Jaehyun may keep everything for himself and will never tell his father about this.’ I let my dad covers everything up because that will be the best. Let me do a small favour for you Jaehyun, this is not the best option we have now but definitely the better one. Have you let your parents know about this? What did they say about this? Or you just keep everything for yourself just like my daddy said? Whatever you do, I just wish that it will be the best for all of us.