Falling for Grayson : birdflash

Ch20: Gardens

Things remained the same after that night. Well, sort of.

The team wouldn't have noticed anything different between me and the Boy Wonder. But Dick noticed. The banter was less, as was the touching. It was more so me giving Dick the cold shoulder. I was annoyed at him. Or maybe I was just annoyed with myself.

Dick doesn't know that I like him, so if he's gonna go out with someone else then he should be able to do that without me being distant or pushing him to tell me his feelings about her.

Part of me still wanted to blame Dick for what was clearly my lack of courage. To say that I was merely frustrated with myself would be like saying the Joker was a small-time criminal. At times I'd have bursts of anger, while in others, I'd feel an emptiness, a yearning for his embrace. I wanted to kiss him.

It was Friday again, and after school, I'd be taking the bus to Gotham, then walking to the illustrious Wayne Manor. Dashing any long distance would leave me disheveled and smelling in such a way that Bruce would certainly lose his appetite.

I sat in my last class, staring blankly at the clock, waiting for it to hit 4:15pm.

* * *

Perched on either side of the black gates of Wayne Manor were menacing stone gargoyles, each donning distinct hideous faces and grotesque postures, where claws dug into their perch, backs hunched over, necks contorted and tongues twisted—they imposed their darkness upon the landscape, and upon the timid speedster who occasionally visited.

I pressed the buzzer located under the gargoyle clawing one of its hollow eyes. I try not to look at it when I visit, but I always fail, and always get the shivers.

Wayne Residence, Margaret's voice appeared in the speaker.

"It's Wally," I replied.

The gates began to open.

While I could dash to the front entrance, I enjoyed walking up the winding road to the manor. The gardeners do impressive sculptures with the hedges and flowers, where mammoths and lions roam, ones made of exotic plants bearing names that I hadn't the faintest clue.

I had a deep warmth for the gardens and my summers with Dick. Playing hide-and-seek in the hedge maze, having snacks by the pond, falling asleep under the willow tree, listening to the sound of leaves in the wind and the calm breathing of the boy beside me—these were the moments with Dick I firmly held in my mind, not wanting them to fade away as if they never happened. It was the innocence before the desire to be something more. This desire I was wishing to go away had planted itself firmly in my heart. I don't think things could go back to how they used to be.

Alfred was standing at the entrance.

"Good evening, Wally," Alfred said, standing straight as a pin.

"Hey, Alfred, how are things?"

The formidable butler directed me inside, closing the door behind him. "Oh, you know, relocating shoulders, stitching faces, washing out blood from capes—the usual."

"You should tell Mr Wayne to be a little more careful."

"I do, and that is Master Wayne being a little more careful."

Alfred left me at the bottom of the staircase. "Dinner will be in 30 minutes. Tell Master Grayson, would you?"

I nodded, then made my way up the stairs. The corridor leading to Dick's room was a deep green lined with a white moulding along the top. Impressive gold frames housed even more impressive paintings. Hell, even the Persian rug in the corridor was a sight to be seen. The amount of time and skill to weave such intricate patterns, and here I was walking all over it.

With all the spare bedrooms in the manor, Dick selected the one furthest away from everything. Perhaps when he was first made to live with Bruce, Dick wanted nothing more than to be left alone. He didn't need a stranger, he needed his parents.

It hurts me to think about the pain Dick went through, pain that resurfaces from time to time. Late one night last summer from the depths of his subconscious, the pain resurfaced. Lying in his bed I had held him tightly in my arms as tears drew and uneven breaths convulsed. When his breathing softened, we fell asleep.

I stood at the entrance of Dick's bedroom. The door was open. I gave a short knock on the frame of the door.

"Hey," I said softly.

Dick was sitting in the nook by the window. He looked up from his book. "Why so sad looking?"

"Oh," I said, caught off by his question. "It's nothing, long bus over."

"You know I could have sent a car?"

"I'd rather take the bus with strangers and listen to music. Mr Buckley isn't much of a conversationalist. I think he finds me annoying."

"I find you annoying."

"Sure, bird boy. And that's why you wanted me to come all the way over to Wayne Manor. To annoy you."

Dick gave a smile that made my knees weak. "Come here." I stumbled over. He stood up and hugged me. Dick's voice went quiet, "You'll always be there for me, won't you Walls?"

I wrapped my arms around him, holding his head against my chest. I realised the pain I had caused from my coldness this past week. In many ways, Dick was strong and resilient, but his dark past left him with deep scars, ones of abandonment and loss. My carelessness and cowardice stroked these scars. In that moment, I hated myself for it.

My tone was solemn, it would be a promise I'd never break. "I'll be there for you, always." Dick relaxed into my arms. If he needs me to be with him, even when I can't be with him in that way, then I will.

My anger faded. All that was left was the yearning. I opened my eyes and looked out onto the garden.

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Author:

Was gonna write the dinner scene, but my mind went elsewhere. Wally's nostalgia and a melancholic memory...