Still With You

Chapter 27: MMA 2018

MELON MUSIC AWARDS
December 1, 2018

Gocheok Sky Dome in Seoul, South Korea

Before the show started, while we are fully ready for the show, Namjoon Hyung called us for a brief meeting.

"Here's the case, these past few awarding shows, we are free to jam and support our co-artists music, right?"

We all nodded at what Namjoon Hyung said, then we continued listening to him seriously.

"What I'm going to tell you is not from the management, this is my own opinion and suggestion. And it's up to you if you follow me or not," he continued. "As you can see, we are soaring, a lot of people know us now. It means, whatever we do, a lot of eyes and cameras are pointing at us more and more. I am not worried about us getting a rumor or hate, because we know ourselves and we believe in each other and I trust our Armys. But I am more concerned about the people who will receive bad feedback because of us. Even if it's not our intention, some people just live to hate and spread negativity. I just want to prevent other idols from being hurt if antis or haters target them. So, what I'm saying is, let's control ourselves and just behave like any other idols. Act as if we are just here to perform and receive an award, and not to see our friends and support them too."

"Hyung, I know that you meant good. But isn't unfair for us?" Taehyung sadly asked. "I really wanna cheer for my friends."

"We have to compromise, Taehyung-ah," Yoongi Hyung answered. "Yes, it's unfair and hard for us but I agree with Namjoon. It's for our own good and other people's safety. Toxic people's speculations are very harmful to us and other idols' mental health and even may endanger us physically."

"Don't worry, Guys," Hobi Hyung lively interrupted our gloomy atmosphere. "I believe that...one day! We can freely make music while being friends with other people in the same and outside the industry. That's what we are aiming for, right? To make a change! To spread love and positivity!"

We all smiled and nodded. Hobi Hyung is right. This is just part of the process. One day, the hardships of this industry will change. We believe that.

We let out a deep sigh and prepare ourselves again for the show. I went beside Taehyung and put my arms around his shoulder to console him. I feel the same but I also know that we still don't have enough power to change the toxicity of this industry. And it's a sad fact that it will be very hard, it is even close to impossible to please all people.

Wanna One, iKon, and BTS took home the grand prizes, also known as the "Daesang Awards". We were so happy and proud and thankful to our company, staff, family, friends, and most especially our fans, ARMY, who are also working very hard to always support us.

But one of the reasons why I am feeling ecstatic right now is that Blackpink sat in front of us. I even made eye contact with Lisa. I was staring at nowhere so I didn't notice them coming toward us, so I was really startled when I saw her.

She bowed at me and I did the same, we didn't even smile. It's so hard to act like I don't know her personally.

I wanna look at her all the time but damn we were just reminded to be careful to avoid rumors. If only it won't hurt other people, I will be glad to be rumored with Lisa. Aish, I'm so whipped.

So, even if I controlled myself from calling her or looking at her, I am still observing the surroundings. And I noticed that B.I keep on staring at Lisa. He didn't even keep it lowkey, he keeps on looking at her as if he was trying to get her attention.

I wanna see Lisa's reaction and I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up to have a glimpse of her because she is far away from me but Namjoon Hyung tugs my clothes, asking me to sit down. He can easily read atmospheres so he might know my feelings right now.

"Mind your action," Namjoon Hyung warned me. So, I controlled my jealousy and calmed myself down.

When we were told to change seats, I took the chance to whisper something to Lisa.

"Let's talk later."

Jennie Unnie cleared her throat and acted as if she whispered something to Lisa to help us not be suspected. I don't know if the fans on the other side noticed my action so I just immediately took a bottle of water and walked away naturally.

I kept on glancing at Lisa. I can't really just ignore her. And I think I'm not the only one who has their eyes on her.

I danced 'DDU-DU DDU-DU', another intentional mistake. My Hyungs teased me but I know that I'll be damned with Namjoon Hyung later.

But who cares... I hope Lisa will see it when it gets viral. It's for her.