Chapter 6

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I walked up the all to familiar stairs. I smiled just remembering the times Harry and I ran up these stairs to try get out of trouble. I walked to the door that I remember so well to be Harry's room. I sighed and knocked on the door but there was no answer.
"Harry!" I called knocking again but again there was no answer so I just turned the handled and opened the door. I saw Harry sitting on the other side of his bed, with his face in his knees. I looked around his room, seeing how it has changed so much. The walls weren't the usual pale blue colour. Instead they were white, with the one wall painted black. That wall was right opposite the bed, and it had a flat screen tv on the wall, with a cabinet below that had a XBOX sitting on top and I am guessing there was games in the cabinet. His walk in wardrobe was the same though, the door was always open as long as I can remember it. Apparently it stopped the monsters because they wouldn't be able to hide in there. The room was dark and it smelt of weed.
"Harry?" I said softly, being weary to approach him just in case he snapped at me. I watched as he turned his face away from me and wrapped his arms around his knees tighter.
"Please talk to me..." I said softly, sitting on the floor facing him but giving him enough space.
"I can't." He mumbled and I sighed softly.
"Harry I want to help. You can lock it up forever." I whispered and I watched as he turned his gaze to me. His eye was swollen shut and the small cut below his eye was dripping small droplets of blood.
"Why?" He asked softly and I smiled scooting closer to him.
"Because I want to." I said raising my hand to wipe a small drop of blood from his cheek. He flinched away but it was because it hurt.
"Come on, lets get this cleaned up." I said standing up and taking his hand in mine, pulling him up and walking him to the bathroom. I let him sit on the counter next to the sink as he told me where to find the medical kit. I took out some cotton wool and wet it with warm water. I knew if I used any antiseptic, it was going to burn so I wanted to clean it as best as I could before using it. Harry flinched away and it was starting to get annoying.
"Can you please keep still?" I asked and he sighed, clenching his jaw tightly. Once the blood was cleaned up, I used the antiseptic and Harry was being a right baby about it.
"Will you stop that?! It fucking burns!" He snapped pushing my hand away and glaring at me. I glared right back at him and I wasn't going to back down.
"You seriously going to act like a baby now?" I asked and he scoffed.
"I am not acting like a baby! It just hurts!" He said and I rolled my eyes.
"Says the boy who has a body full of tattoos?" I said and I could tell the glare he gave me was playful. He finally sucked it up and let me finish cleaning his wounds. I packed everything up and I could feel him looking at me as I did it.
"What are you looking at?" I asked and he chuckled.
"Nothing." He said and I smiled.
"No seriously. If I have something on my face you have to tell me or I will freak out." I said making him laugh more.
"No its nothing, just admiring on how much you have changed." He said and I smiled.
"I have changed that much." I said and he rolled his eyes.
"Says the man who is student body president, football captain, straight A student and a massive pain in the ass." He said and I smacked his arm at that.
"Says the boy with all the piercings and tattoos!" I whined and he smiled that smile that has never changed, even with the snake bites. We both headed out the bathroom and Harry flopped down on his bed, while I looked around his room.
"Your room has changed a lot." I said and he just mumbled a response.
"You still leave your closet door open?" I asked turning to look at him as his bright green eyes stared at me.
"What? Is it not allowed?" He asked and I sighed.
"I remember you always tell me that if you kept the door open, monsters couldn't hide in there." I said chuckling as I saw his cheeks gather a small shade of red.
"I was 5! Give me a break!" He whined and I burst out laughing. As I walked into his closet, I gaped at all the clothes he had. So many pairs of shoes, from converses to boots. Something caught my eye though and I walked towards the box and opened it. I stepped back quickly as I saw what it was and it almost made my blood boil. It was his drugs. New needles and syringes and small packets of stuff that I don't even want to identify. I wanted to walk out there and shout at him, threaten to throw all this junk away but I didn't want to anger him. We have just started to get along and I don't want to break that.
"What are you doing?" Harry called and I quickly kicked the box back to its place as I turned to his shoes. I heard him come in and I turned to face him.
"You have a lot of shoes." I said and he nodded slowly, eyeing me carefully as if he was suspicious about something.
"Are you snooping around?" He asked and I frowned.
"Why would I do that?" I asked as he walked closer to me.
"You seem pale. Like you have seen a ghost." He said and I gulped.
"Don't lie to me." He stated coldly and I sighed.
"Okay fine, I accidentally came across that box you didn't exactly hide very well." I said and I watched as his jaw clenched.
"What did you do with it?" He asked and I frowned.
"Nothing. I wouldn't touch the stuff if you paid me!" I snapped and he backed away.
"I want you to leave." He said walking to the box.
"No." I said as he turned to look at me.
"What?" He asked quietly.
"I'm not leaving." I said and he glared at me.
"You don't have a choice." He said pulling stuff out from the box.
"If you are going to do that, then I am not leaving. I will sit and watch you do it if I have too... No matter how much it disturbs me." I said as he just stared at me.
"Whatever." He snapped and walked out to his desk.
"Harry." I whined following him as he started to set things up.
"Go away." He said but I just stood there.
"Please stop doing this." I said softly. He ignored me and started doing whatever he was going to do.
"Harry please." I almost begged and I saw him stop for a second.
"I can't." He said looking down at the needle and syringe in his hand.
"You promised!" I finally broke and he turned to look at me.
"What?" He asked, almost dazed.
"You told me you were going to get help! You basically promised me! What now you just going to break every promise we made? We already broke the one with us staying friends forever!!" I cried out and slid down the wall, keeping my gaze to my hands.
"You carry on doing that and you didn't just break every promise, but you will break the trust I have for you." I said, keeping my eyes down because they were burning with tears. It was quiet for a moment, I thought he just carried on with what he was doing until I felt him sit next to me.
"You still have trust in me?" He asked and I nodded, keeping my gaze away from him. I didn't want him to see how badly this was affecting me. I never stopped caring about the boy, no matter what happened between us. I have only realized now that I cared about him so much over the years. The amount of times I asked myself what he must be doing, its sort of embarrassing to think about.
"I didn't think anyone would trust me after everything I have done." He said and I looked up at him.
"What have you done?" I asked and he sighed, playing with his fingers.
"Everything. I have been arrested twice. Done all sorts of drugs. Overdosed once because of the horrible things people liked to call me. I used to cut a lot. Most of the tattoos are to cover the scars. I have put my parents through a lot of hell and its like I have dug a hole for myself. But the problem is I have fallen into the hole and its buried me alive with no way out." He said and I felt a tear leave my eye but I couldn't bring myself to wipe it away.
"I don't have people that trust me. I don't have anyone that is willing to help me. My parents gave up a long time ago and they just go with the flow and I know I worry my mum so much just by looking at her expression when I come home like this or when I'm high. She worries that she will find me almost dead again but I don't have the will power to bring myself to stop. I gave up trying when everyone else did." He said and I think that was the first time he has ever opened up to me. I nearly lost my former best friend because he had no one to help him.
"You have me Harry. I haven't given up yet and you can't either." I said and he sighed.
"There is nothing you can do Louis. You have your own life now. You don't need your former childhood best friend around you, causing you pain and suffering." He said but I shook my head and took his hand in mine. He looked at me with confused green eyes as another tear slide down my cheek.
"You're not just my former child hood best friend Harry. We might have no been friends for years, but right now after actually telling me that... You still are my best friend." I said and his eyes widened.
"I am?" He asked and I nodded smiling, wiping my eyes with my hand.
"Harry you have no idea what that would of done to me if I found out you nearly died. Harry its been years but I always wondered what you were doing... But you trusted me enough to tell me that, which makes you my best friend because we always told each other everything when we were kids." I said. He just kept his gaze down.
"What were people saying to make you do it?" I asked and he sighed, smacking his head on the wall before turning to look at me.
"You will leave if I told you." He said and I gave a looking basically asking him if he was serious.
"Don't say I didn't warn you..." He mumbled as he pulled his hand away from mine, which I only realized now that I was still holding.
"Harry just tell me... Please. Just trust me for once." I said and he sighed. He kept his gaze on his hands before he finally looked up at me with glossy eyes. He seemed to be thinking on how to say whatever he had to say and I just sat there patiently waiting. Finally he was able to muster up the two words I was not expecting here but nothing to chase me away.
"I'm gay."

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