It's been a couple of months since I came out to Chaeryeong. Nothing changed between us like she said. She's not awkward around me either which I'm happy about. One of my concerns after coming out was she won't let me hug her or touch her in any way because she might think I have other intentions but that's not the case.
My life at home hasn't changed either. I guess I can't complain much. My parents don't abuse us or neglect us, it's more just our family doesn't feel genuine.
Beomgyu still attends parties but not as much anymore. I did stop agreeing on driving him there so I'm not sure how he's getting there and coming home. I don't really care.
I'm in my room, working on my drawings while listening to music when my mom barges in to ruin my peace. She's good at that.
"Ryujin, I just got a call from your teacher-" I cut her off because I know what it's gonna be about.
"How is he doing? Did he have a good day?"
"Ryujin! This is serious!" She snaps at me.
"Why do you have to act out?"
"All I did was sleep in class. It's not a big deal. Why is he making it a big deal?" I argue.
"You called him a jackass in front of the class, Ryujin. You should still show him respect."
"Oh, I said that out loud? I thought it was in my dreams" I chuckle and my mom is glaring at me.
"You do realize when you act out like this, it makes us look bad? They're gonna think that we don't discipline you enough. The kids in your school, I know their parents. Whenever there's a parent meeting, I can tell they judge me because you and Beomgyu like to cause problems."
"How do you expect to become a good doctor or lawyer if you can't show respect to your seniors or even follow simple orders like don't cause problems?" She's calm now.
"What if I don't want to be a lawyer or a doctor? What if I want to do something else?" I ask.
"That's stupid. Why would you waste the connections and opportunities that will be given to you because of your parents? We're working hard so you kids can have a good future. We're setting everything up for you."
"It's just not me. Don't I get a say on what I want to do with my life?" I ask.
"It doesn't matter what you are or what you want. You need to be able to support yourself before anything. You need a good career that makes good money. Work hard then worry about who you are. This world isn't easy, Ryujin. People would kill to have your life so don't ruin it" she pats my back.
"Dinner will be ready in ten so come down" she kisses the top of my head then leaves my room.
I throw my pen on my desk out of frustratand I cover my face to keep myself from screaming.
Every time I have a talk with her about not wanting to be a lawyer or a doctor, she always finds a way to make me feel guilty. I know my life is easy compare to a lot of people but does that mean I can't do what I want?
I put away my drawing supplies and I head downstairs for dinner.
"What's wrong with your face?" Beomgyu ask when he sees me.
I walk past him and go into the kitchen because I'm not in the mood to argue with him. I sit at the dining table to wait for dinner.
"Why did you ignore me?" Beomgyu follows and he sits across from me.
"I'm not in the mood" I answer.
"Mom talked to you, huh? She talked to me too. She said I'm on the verge of not being able to graduate if I fail a single class this year. She talked about how embarrassing would it be to try to go to med school or law school and have to repeat my senior year" he laughs.
