Some Cup Of Eudaimonia [TO BE PUBLISH UNDER PII]

Ikalabing Isang Tasa

Ikalabing Isang Tasa

Mark 7:37,
Jesus gave comfort by His presence, freeing the mouth of the mute to confess the truth. 

IT'S BEEN A MONTH since I did that blasphemous act towards my father. I can't remeber how my life goes on after that. Ang tanging alam ko lang, masaya ako ngayon sa silid na may apat na sulok na kulay puti ang dingding.

Since that day my life brings me to the reality that hard to accept. Akala ko noon hindi ko aabutin ang mga nangyayari sa'kin ngayon but I was wrong. I thought... pansamantala lang 'to pero buwan na rin ang lumipas, wala pa ring pinagbago. 

"Are you ready to face them, Kelsie?" my nurse asked and I just nodded. Kahit gustuhin kong magsalita ay hindi ko magawa. "Just do the sign I'd teach you if you don't want to be with them anymore, okay?" I nodded again.

Kelsie... They used to call me using my second name because I hate hearing the first one. With that name I can retrive how I heard the voice of my father who's begging for his life on that day. 

D-did I killed him? 

She push my wheelchair to leave my room para pumunta sa visiting area at harapin ang mga taong ngayon ko lang ulit makikita matapos ang 'sang buwan. I don't feel anything in me. Para bang balewala lang sa'kin lahat ngayon. Iba ang takbo ng utak ko, wala akong paki sa mundo. 

I waited for them to visit since day 1 but I didn't even heard a single hi or how are you to them. Maybe... I don't have a money that they are looking for in me. It hurts, but I should be used to that. 

Napakapit ako nang husto nang makalabas ako sa aking silid. It is my first time seeing the outside world. Am I that ready to face the world–to face them? 

Mas lalo naman akong kinabahan nang matanaw ko ang paligid. Like me, marami rin akong nakikitang kagaya ko. Pero maswerte sila kasi nagawa nila ang mag-ingay unlike me. 

Did they suffer a lot like me as well? Or we both here but we have a different story to tell?

"Pagmaliko natin ang silid na 'yan, makikita mo na sila, Kelsie. Sabihin mo lang kung itutuloy ba natin o hindi, okay?" my nursed said. 

She was assigned to me since the day I'm here. She's Miss Maris Agsunta. I like her, very. She's to vocal and she even not tired of caring of me even though we are not related by blood. Is that true what other people saying that "Mas maaasahan mo pa ang iba kaysa sa sarili mong pamilya".

I look up at her and smiled, it means I'm ready to face them. To face my fears. 

Without any thoughts she push my wheelchair again, 'tsala lumiko sa silid na sinabi niya. 

Minutes had passed then my world stopped when I literally saw them a-again. Glad that they look so okay without me. 

Hindi pa man ako tuluyang nakarating sa area nila ay agad na nila akong dinaluhan saka niyakap isa-isa. 

"A-anak..." umiiyak na tawag sa'kin ni nanay. She hugged me tight but I didn't do the same. Steady lang ako tila walang nararamdaman. 

How I can feel them when they are the reason why I'm here? They made me a stone and my heart too. 

"Manang..." sabi ni Anna. Like my mother, she hug me too. 

Nang matapos nila akong yakapin ay hindi pa rin nila ako nakitaan ng emosyon. 

They are all standing in my front. Lumingon ako sa kabila dahilan ng makita ko ang babaeng minsan ko ng niligtas. 

"I'm s-sorry," she said and hug me. I'm glad that is fully recovered now. I know she strong–my Eya is strong.