Tacenda - Things to be left unsaid; matters to be passed over in silence
or
Tsa'tvayi gives Neteyam a purpose, while caring for his family as if they were her own.
Started: Jan 01, 2023
Completed: Jan 21, 2023
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𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊
NETEYAM
𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊
WHEN NETEYAM WOKE, IT was to the overwhelming feeling of his bond with Tsa'tvayi. His Tsa'tvayi. Her head was curled into the space between his neck and shoulder, her limbs entangled beautifully with his. He wished he could stay there for ever, feeling the warmth of her skin against his and the tsaheylu that glowed lovingly between them
The aching throb of his wound felt unimportant compared to the feel of Tsa'tvayi besides him. Sure, Neteyam had hope that she'd one day look at him as he looked at her. He had hoped she could come to love him one day, that the love she had for his family would extend to him- even if in another form. He had never thought she would mate him so selfishly, that she would give away her chance at finding a mate for his survival.
He couldn't find it in him to feel bad though, not when it guaranteed that she would always be besides him.
Tsa'tvayi shifted in his arms, her nose brushing against the skin of his neck, and he tightened his grip around her. Somehow, the idea of letting go felt worst than the bullet he'd taken.
"Let her sleep." The voice came from behind him, Neteyam's ears flickering as he moved Tsa'tvayi even closer to his body. The girl let out a small whine and he soothed a hand over her hair. When, she settled, he turned his head enough to catch sight of Lo'ak.
His younger brother looked rough, his hair unkempt and his face pallid. He shuffled closer and pressed a hand to Tsa'tvayi's cheek. Neteyam wasn't proud to admit that he wanted to slap the hand away from his mate. He didn't want to share her presence, not yet.
"She hasn't slept for more than a couple of minutes since you got shot," Lo'ak confessed as he retracted his hand but continued kneeling besides him. He looked down at his hands, Neteyam letting his eyes flicker from Tsa'tvayi's resting face to his brother's sorrow-filled one.
"I-," Loak looked a way and swallowed harshly, one hand coming up to wipe at his face. "I'm sorry, Neteyam." He cried, his voice cracking as he spoke.
"I'm sorry for always doing this. For making these stupid decisions and expecting you to always be there. I'm sorry that I always get you hurt. I'm sorry that you always get in trouble with dad because of me. I'm just-" He took in a shuttering breath, tears streaming down his face as his ears pinned back. "I'm sorry for everything."
Neteyam stared at him for moment, his brother shifting shamefully. Then, he let out a small sigh and patted the space behind Tsa'tvayi. "Come," he whispered. "Lay down."
Lo'ak didn't hesitate before dropping besides the girl, his head curling over her's as he threw a leg over Tsa'tvayi's and Neteyam's bodies. Neteyam reached out a hand and pressed it to his brother's neck. "You do not need to apologize, Lo'ak. You are my brother."
The boy went to argue before Neteyam hushed him. "You are my brother," he repeated, "And I am so proud of you. I love you so much that it almost hurts." It was true, he realized, that the love he held for his brother filled him so fully it was almost painful. Warmth curled in his hear every time he saw Lo'ak trying something, the confident glint in his eyes as he laughed so full of mischief.
He prayed to Eywa that the brightness that filled Lo'ak never left him.
Lo'ak sniffled, his eyes shit tightly as he buried his head in Tsa'tvayi's hair.
"I see you, Lo'ak."
𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊
"WE HAVE BEEN TALKING." Already, Neteyam knew the news wouldn't be good, as his father stood besides his mother, a sheepish grin on his face. The last time his parents 'were talking', they found themselves asking for ukturu from the reef people. He wouldn't say he regretted, but he definitely didn't want a repeat of it.
Tsa'tvayi shifted besides him, Neteyam wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She had tried to leave when the family meeting was called, but had found herself under the identical glares of his parents, the girl dropping sheepishly besides them all.
Kiri let out a groan as she rolled her eyes and lent on Lo'ak's shoulder, Spider throwing her a quick glance. "Please, stop talking."
Pursing his lips, their father spoke. "You used to be such a well-behaved kid," he complained, his eyes narrowed on the oldest daughter.
Tsa'tvayi huffed out a laugh as she adjusted Tuk on her lap, the younger girl grinning brightly. Neteyam felt happy as he looked at his family, small smiles shared throughout the room.
Even Spider seemed a bit less tense, his shoulders looser than they had been since Neteyam had woken up. He had heard about the boy saving his father, had heard about the anger of his mother, had seen the scar that marked the sky boy from his mother's blade.
He couldn't find it in himself to be upset with Spider, not when the boy had spend the entirety of his life as an outsider. Sure, Kiri and Lo'ak loved him, but it was not the love they held for the others in the family. It was not a love that had driven any of them to search for the boy when he had been taken.
Neteyam could not blame Spider for hoping that his father would love him, he could only blame himself for not every truly embracing the boy who he had played with as a child. The first brother he had had and the one he had forgotten. Neteyam had carried the weight of being the oldest, yet had never considered what Spider might feel as the actual oldest of them all, yet the only one not accepted.
At the end of the day, he was not different from Kiri- who had been a strange gift yet lovingly accepted- except nobody had ever taken the time to truly know him.
"Your mother misses Mo'at." The words made Neteyam tense, his eyes narrowing as he tightened his grip around Tsa'tvayi's shoulders. No.
"We were thinking about going back home." The words seemed to hand in the air, Neteyam gritting his teeth.
He missed his home like he had never missed anything before, but Tsa'tvayi was his life now. He would not leave her. He would not.
"I'm staying."
He could feel everyone's eyes on him as his words echoed in the room, his father's brows furrowing. "I imagined you would want to stay," he supplied hesitantly.
HE fell himself nodding before he could even really think about it, Tuk's eyes burning against the side of his face.
"Why?" Asked Tsa'tvayi, her voice incredulous as she looked between him and his dad.
"What do you mean why, Tsa'tvayi?" He asked. "You are my mate, I am not leaving you."
Tsa'tvayi tilted her head as if he had said the stupidest thing in Pandora. "Skxawng. You would just leave your family to stay here?" He could see her rolling her eyes as she ran a hand over Tuk's braids.
"I could just come with you?" She supplied as the silence continued. "I am one person and I will not really be missed here."
A beat of silence followed her words, Neteyam's heart racing in his chest at the possibility of bringing his mate to his home. "Really?"
Tsa'tvayi nodded, a soft smile on her lips as she looked around the room. "Really."
