It's a Long Way To Dearest Gravesfield

Chapter 10: Friendship and Insecurity

Late at night, after all his friends are in bed, his belongings from the castle safely tucked away, Hunter stands in front of the mirror in the bathroom, staring at his reflection. He holds up his arms and looks at the scars across his skin, tracing his hand from his arm up his bare chest to his neck and face. He cringes as he meets his own eyes.

"This is me now. I have to get used to this. It's embarrassing and ugly, but...I can't change it. I have to learn to live with it, because I can't hide it from myself. And even if I could, I'll always know it's there."

In the bedroom, Willow wakes, chilly. She notices the blanket is turned down off her side and goes to tug it back over her when she realizes Hunter isn't beside her like he was when they fell asleep in the large nest of pillows and blankets the teens moved to the floor. She stands, stretches, and checks the bed, wondering if he felt too crowded and went to sleep there. When she doesn't see him, she finds a bathrobe and wraps it around her, a shield against the autumn chill, and goes to look for him. She sees the light on in the bathroom and turns back to the bedroom to give him his privacy.

Then she hears, "Damn you, Belos, you just had to make it clear you made me, didn't you...."

She stops and turns back, knocking lightly on the door, "Hunter? Are you OK?"

"Not really, but also kinda."

"Can I come in?"

There is a moment of silence before he answers, "I'm not wearing a shirt."

"Is that a problem?"

"I don't know."

"Would you be more comfortable if I waited to talk until you were?" she asks.

"I don't know."

Willow sighs, "Hunter...you sound upset. Can I help?"

She hears him moving around and then the sound stops, "Maybe. Come in."

She enters the bathroom and closes the door behind her. He is sitting on the closed toilet, his beloved wolf shirt folded in his hands, his head bowed.

"What's going on?"

"The scars are really bad," he says, "See?" He gestures to how they cross his chest and arms.

Willow stares for a second before nodding, "Yeah, they are."

"I'm having a hard time accepting this is how I look now. It's like he marked me as his and only his to do with whatever he wanted. Make me, brand me, force me to kill my best friend, try to kill me, make sure I can't forget. I don't want anything to do with Belos and yet...." He touches his cheek, "He's right here, on my face."

Willow leans on the edge of the sink, "I don't know what to tell you, Hunter. I was so scared we were going to lose you in the cemetery...that maybe he'd already killed you and you weren't even in there anymore. When you took back over and I heard your voice, I was so relieved, I felt like I was going to cry. I'm just so grateful I still have you that I don't see the scars as Belos still laying claim to you. I've been right beside you when I thought you were dying twice, so I just see one of my best friends who's one of the strongest people I've ever met."

"I didn't realize who was where after a certain point in the draining spell," he replies, "It was kinda hard to focus."

"I helped you up, remember? And kept you standing when the Collector ended the eclipse. You were leaning on me pretty heavy – I thought you were going to collapse."

"Right before it ended, I felt like I was going to. I don't really think I realized who I was leaning on until after the spell was over." He takes her hand, "One more way I probably owe you my life."