An Alienating Secret

Getting Ready... I'm so Nervous

--Conner—

I had to beg my 'parents' to let me get frozen yogurt with my friends. And I hate begging. It's like they don't even care about me! Kids should have a social life, that's a known fact. My real parents would let me go out. 

I miss my mom with her crazy flower bouquets, and how my dad would fuss over his recipes.  Things have been so different since we've moved. I don't ever see my siblings and cousins anymore, and it's so difficult to set up face calls.

Yes, I love my new friends, but why can't everything go back to normal? My family always had my back, and I belonged there. Now, I'm going to be eating with people that have made fun of me in the past. Yes, I believe Mrs. Jerrak, but it's so nerve-wracking!

I looked at myself in the mirror. I'd usually be downstairs making my breakfast by now, but I wanted to make sure I looked extra nice. A bit of me thought that if I seemed presentable, the girls wouldn't pick on me as much. (Even though I'll probably look average no matter what I wear. I know I don't have good fashion standards).

After deeming myself ok, I went to the kitchen and got cereal. My parents (or should I call them caretakers?) had already left for work, so I was sitting by myself at the round table. As I started eating, the center of my chest hurt- right where my scar was. Oh, not again. I rubbed the spot, mainly along my scar's protruding line, though I knew the problem lurked just beneath the skin. It usually hurts more when I'm stressed, so I let out a deep and long breath. It'll be fine, Conner, just relax.

But I couldn't relax. The more I thought about the froyo hang-out, the more I felt nervous. I was so out of my own skin. Staring at my hands, it felt unnatural. How could it all work out? I'm so different, I'm so different. At least Anith and her mom were going to be there. They felt like the only people I could trust these days.

Beep! Beep! The alarm on my phone went off. It was 7:20. I had to start walking to where the Maddleheim school bus would pick me up.

I grabbed my money for froyo, got out the door, locked it, and started going down the stairs of our apartment complex. I used to live in a big house before we came here, so the downsize always disappointed me. I can't complain, though. I know the reason for why I had to move. It's just a matter of keeping my mouth shut and going along with it.

Soon enough, I was at the bus stop, breathing in the fresh air. The bus rumbled to a halt in front of me, and I got on. My normal seat was by Jeremiah, who gave me a wave.

"Hey, how are you?" he asked.

"Doing ok. You?"

"Excited for frozen yogurt."

"Haha, yeah. It should work out well."

"Of course! I think we'll actually have fun."

"You're not worried about the girls?"

"A bit apprehensive, if anything. But not worried. What's the worst that can happen?"

"Well, uh," I took a deep breath. "What if one of them or one of us says something mean to each other?"

"Oh, please." Jeremiah laughed. "I'm sure we're all civilized human beings here. If something doesn't click, we just won't see each other again. You don't have to worry about a fight."

"No, not a fight, just some... sarcastic comments. Like if, say, Jenna insults one of us, or Andrew says something sort of mean but sort of not mean, like... You get what I'm saying?"

Jeremiah raised an eyebrow. "Sort of? I just hope Chris doesn't flirt with any of the girls."

I face-palmed. "Ay, that kid. You might have to screw his head on his shoulders, Jerry."

He laughed. "I think Anith will do that before I do."

"Yeah, sounds like her." I smiled thinking about Anith. "It's really cool, actually. That she's trying to unite us."

"Yeah." Jeremiah nodded. "And I can see why. It'd be good for her."

"I just hope we all get along and don't dash her plans." I said, forcing myself to not fidget.

"We'll just have to see." Jeremiah exhaled. "We'll just have to see."