An Alienating Secret

What's Wrong?

--Alana—

I put Conner's address into my navigation and started on the road. I glanced to him from the corner of my eye. All of a sudden, he seemed a little worried.

"Hey, are you ok?" I asked.

Conner started. "Oh- what? Uh, yeah, I'm fine, I just uh- was thinking. My thinking face can look a little weird at times."

I struggled to believe him. "Did the girls say anything mean to you?" (I knew Jenna was nice in the car, but maybe the others had caused a problem?).

Conner blinked twice. "Oh, no, they were great. Really fun. I meant every word I said to Jenna, it's just that.... you know what, nevermind. It's not important."

"What is it?" I asked. I glanced again at Conner with concern. He seemed to avert my gaze.

"No, no, you probably won't believe me. It's weird to say, and it's not like you can do anything about it, so there's no use in saying it. It's really fine. I'm fine- I mean."

You're most definitely not fine, I thought. I tried to think of what could be bringing Conner down. "Did... anything happen with your parents, if I can ask?"

Conner scoffed. "Hah, when isn't there something happening with my parents!" He seemed to become conscious of me again and shrugged it off. "It's just normal teen drama, I guess." He said it as if he meant a joke, but I noticed he wasn't smiling.

"Well, everyone has different teen drama, so..." I made a clicking sound with my tongue and kept my eyes on the road before making a little look at Conner.

He had sighed and was leaning against the car door, wrapping his arms around himself.

Alana, you have to open up to him first, before he can trust you, I told myself.

I tried to speak, "Like, for me, I had a lot of teen drama with my sister. Oh, we bullied and bullied each other. It was awful. I would steal her boots, she'd make fun of me in front of her friends, I'd tear up her math homework.... That sort of thing."

"Well, that sounds extreme." Conner looked at me, before shrinking into himself and looking away again. "Why did you hate her?"

"She was the older one, and always thought she was so much better for it. So she would insult me, and then I tried to get revenge on her. But then she'd try the same on me, until..." I sighed. "It was just an endless cycle."

"Ok, then, um...." Conner seemed to be trying to fit himself in as little of a ball as possible. "How did it end?"

"It wasn't because of me, that's for sure. Marcy had talked to one of her friends about me, and that friend suggested that Marcy needed to extend good terms. So, she came and apologized to me. And that made me apologize too."

Conner nodded, very thoughtful. "...So what would've happened if she never apologized to you?"

I sighed again. "We'd probably be feuding to this day. But now, thanks to her and God's Providence, Marcy is a person I love and even look up to."

"So... the moral is that love always comes in the end?"

"Well, yeah, I guess. And that you should lower your pride for the sake of peace. But that wasn't why I brought up the story." I smiled at Conner. "You see, that was my middle school drama, what happened to me. But everyone has their own story. I mean, ours have to be very different. You don't have siblings."

Conner's lip trembled. "No, I do. I just had to leave them behind."

I was surprised. "Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't know."

"Yeah, Anith thought I was an only child too. I apparently give off that vibe." His voice became a bit choked. "It's because I'm alone here. When someone has siblings and cousins that they love, you can tell because they're so expressionate, as if someone always has their back, as if they have something to look forward to when they come home..." Conner shook his head and wiped his eyes. "I just don't have that anymore."

A moment passed in silence. I felt uncomfortable asking Conner more about his siblings, in case it was a touchy subject. But I ventured to ask, "Do you call your other relatives often, then?"

Conner laid his head against the seat. "Even if I did, it's not the same! I'm stuck here... with my parents." He hit the side of the seat and scowled.

"B-but, I thought you and your parents were great friends!" I countered in shock. "Anith told me that you talk about your father lovingly, and the way he cooks lobster."

Conner laughed, but I could see that he started crying. "The people I'm staying with, they aren't my parents."

I tensed. There was something scary about the way he said it. Not the way that hinted he was adopted, but that something much worse was going on. I decided to ask cautiously but directly, "Who are you staying with then?"

Conner shook his head and didn't answer. I looked at the road ahead, my heart beating fast. What does he mean? What's going on where he lives? I glanced at Conner again.

"I'm so sorry, but... I can only help if you tell me what's-"

"It won't do any good!" Conner exploded. "Me telling you won't change anything! I should've just shut up a long time ago." He looked away from me, every bit of his body trembling. "I know that people say that if you talk about your problems, it'll get better... But it just won't work for me." Conner looked at my face. "I was thinking of telling you, but... it'll just get worse if I do. Don't worry about me. It's not that my parents are abusive or anything like that. And they are my real parents, they just-uh, changed after the move. I just," he whimpered, "I miss my real family, that's all. I mean, my extended family."

I didn't know how to respond. "W-why... Why do you not count your parents as your real family?"

Conner shook his head. "No, no, I do! I misspoke earlier. I meant I miss my extended family."

"No, you said what you said." I interrupted. "And... this is really worrying, Conner."

"I'm sorry! Just don't listen to me then! It's completely fine-"

"No, everything is not fine! And I want to listen to you! But..." I lowered my voice. "I don't want to listen to any lies."

Conner stared at me with wide eyes. He shook his head, as if he'd lost a fight. An internal fight.

What in the world did he have to tell me?