An Alienating Secret

Why Make Me Blush?

--Conner—

Hugging Maeya was an amazing feeling. I had felt so much anxiety and stress from my life. Especially when initiating the Nashtalamki Toka. But now they all seemed to fade away. I knew I couldn't trust Maeya, but I could pretend, right?

Maybe this was getting a bit too comfortable.

I gently removed Maeya from our embrace. Being a bit apart, I could see the way she looked at me. Her eyes were wild. Her face was pale. She looked desperate, as if she was battling an urge inside her. Was she feeling regret for planning to betray me to the officials?

But then her eyes dropped to my lips, and I understood. It happened before I knew it. She placed her hands around my neck and passionately kissed me. I was surprised and moved back a bit out of instinct. But I didn't push her away.

It was my first kiss, and it felt fitting to have my life-long fiancé give it to me. Especially since it was the last time I'd ever see her.

I let my eyes close for a moment and pulled her in a bit closer. It felt magical. Then, with my hand gently on her shoulder, I pushed her away and slowly opened my eyes.

I was shocked to not see Maeya anymore. It was only my surroundings on Earth. Beggars sitting or wandering around, cars, concrete walls, dirty floors. How could it have ended? What happened?

In my history books, it was known that the religious force of the Nashtalamki Toka would reveal the steps to the lovers. But that wasn't a step! They just booted me out of her head space! Maybe it was because we kissed?

I mean....... what, like we aren't allowed to?

I took a few breaths and looked around. The homeless man lying next to me- previously using his jacket as a pillow on the ground- had raised his head towards me. He eyed me with a confused look. I must have jerked or trembled when I was sent out of the Nashtalamki Toka. But now, after a moment, he shrugged and disinterestedly went back to sleep.

I tried not to breathe heavily. It was like my cheeks were on fire. No one here knew the experience I just went through. I was sitting here- like them. Who would've guessed I was just kissing my intergalactically long-distance fiancé? Moreover, that I was a secret alien and ex-spy? And, who would've ever foreseen that it was all because their world was soon to be thrown into a war and face complete domination?

I thought about the weight of it all. Could I really make a difference? But, then again, it was better to die trying than to live in the predicament I was stuck in. I was happy to stand up for my friends on my new planet of residence. I had met so many great people and saw whole new experiences. These Earthens didn't deserve to become slaves to a greedy empire! They needed lives full of peace, joy, and prosperity.

Wow, I really am a rebel. I chuckled. At least I'm not lying to Alana now about that!

I wondered how my family would respond. Would they still mourn my death? I remembered all the millions of times my mom and dad got in political arguments with others. So patriotic! Anyone against the Deities was somebody who needed to be tortured, terminated, and left to rot. That's why they offered me up as a spy. Their government was more important than their son being safe and close by them. And most of my siblings had thought the same way. They were all so proud of me to go honor my empire. If only they realized how much blood would be spilt to achieve our goals! I couldn't pretend that the Deities' actions were ok with me. The whole mindset of my planet was "we, us, our" and everything different was worthless. It wasn't right. I would fight for change until it broke me.

Yes, I missed my family and Maeya. Of course I did. I deeply wished everything was back to how it was before. I could imagine her with me, and us all together. I might've gotten married and had kids, lived a happy and healthy life, with no government agents planning my murder behind my back. Oh, ignorance would have been bliss!

But, again, I wasn't living in some fairytale. And I had wasted enough time thinking of a different life for myself.

I needed to call the Jerraks and update them on my Nashtalamki Toka. Mr. Jerrak had given me an old phone to contact them with. I pulled it out and pressed the dial button on Alana's contact.