THE HARD WORK OF LOVE By Lumko

ACCOUNTABILITY

Many women don't want to take accountability for the kind of men they let into their lives. All they want to do is, to come here on social media and shout about how all men are trash, toxic, and scams. Sit down and ask yourself why you always date "scams"? Maybe there's some "toxicity and scam" in you?

I mean, honestly, you cannot separate yourself from the quality of the decisions you take. Never. The significance of your decisions indicates how much insight you have, or rather the lack of it. In this day and age, you barely see women taking responsibility for the kind of men they choose. I know some will attack me and tag this as victim-blaming. In a world where there is an ugly for every ounce of truth, I will still say what needs to be said. If you choose bad men; if you always attract bad men; I reckon you have some work to do on yourself. Yes, you're also involved. If someone keeps getting scammed, should they not contemplate why they're easy targets? And what they can do to end the cycle? But when it comes to relationships, everyone is to be at fault but not you? Because you're a Queen? Okay, Yass Queen!

I see think essays and opinions saying that a man will treat you badly no matter what you do. Well, that's not true. Those statements encourage a heedless mentality in modern-day women. You can't act with carelessness and not expect any accidents. While you can't control how people treat you, you can control the quality of people who have access to you. It's simple. You can control the kind of men you allow into your lives. If you don't think this way. Life will finish you. Or maybe it is the parameters you adopt to qualify a man worthy? You can't be fixated on the wrong things and expect the right outcomes. How? Many women focus on materials and superficial things, with little attention to values. At the end of the day, you come crying on social media, "Men are this, men are that".

That's why many of you have had multiple bad relationships. Yes, they were terrible and perhaps left you broken, but you allowed the men. So, what can you do better next time? How can you choose better? If you think you're gonna get a good man because you're a Queen, LOL!If men are a scam because of your experiences, then what's in you that "scam" men love so much? Take your life seriously, build boundaries and reassess how you vet men. Your decisions are yours. Sometimes hold yourself in a meeting and see who you really are. Own the outcomes and learn from them. Dear Queens.