Payback: Reversal

14 - Hurt

Yoon Jay had no idea what it meant to break apart. To have the core of one being ripped and shred to pieces that even breathing seemed to be difficult. To have his faith destroyed and his belief crumbling down.

He knew it once, but he forgot about it already. His child's mind protected him from it by turning everything off.

He still didn't know, couldn't remember.

But he knew that he hated seeing Lee Yoohan like this.

The aghast face, as if his soul had left his body, and the way his fists shook on that small piece of paper. And then—his laugh.

"Ha—ha ha..."

Lee Yoohan laughed, a short one, that sounded as if he was choked on something. Even for someone without empathy like Yoon Jay, he registered the pain in that laugh.

Yoohan sat down, face buried in his palms. The sheer fact that he didn't immediately question the result showed that he had already considered it to some extent. He just feverishly prayed that it wasn't true, that the informant wasn't someone from his side. That it was just his darkest nightmare playing with his mind.

If it was Yoohan before the accident, before he knew there was someone who plotted his death and leaked his schedule to a third party, he might outrightly deny the accusation.

Yoohan laughed again, even after his arms slumped down in between his knees, and the piece of paper fell. But that laugh was filled with bitter sorrow.

Not that Jay ever saw Yoohan laugh happily too.

Jay decided that he didn't like it. Didn't like this Yoohan who was drowned inside the mud of his own darkness. But he also understood what crushing Yoohan right now. He understood his master more than Yoohan understood himself.

Yoohan's most treasured people were his mother and brother, the only people he could call his real family. But when those treasures were gone, it was his close attendants that became precious to him. Yoohan treated them like his own hyungs and noonas, trusted them, and treasured them to the point that he couldn't let them be employed by his abusive family members.

And the one he trusted the most among them, the one he sent to his own mentor, was Yoo Ilhwan.

And yet, Jay knew, that Yoohan was blaming himself even now. Was he doing something wrong? Had he treated the man wrong in the past? Did he do something that Ilhwan was dissatisfied with, that compelled the man to betray him like that? Did he not give enough rewards, did he treat the man cruelly, did he...did he...

A lot of questions must have popped up inside that pretty little head.

Self-doubting questions.

Jay hated that.

"Master," Jay kneeled in front of the bowed face, and took the slightly trembling hand inside his own.

He wanted to call Yoohan's name badly, but right now, he felt that Yoohan needed reassurance. Yoohan needed to know that he still had someone he could trust, that his beliefs could still stand. So Jay was there not as a pining lover, but as Yoohan's servant.

"Master, should I call Chairman Song?" Jay tugged Yoohan gently, and the shaking eyes flinched.

There was no sound for a long time, until the little bird chimed in. "W-why call him?"

"Because Yoo Ilhwan now belonged to Hwayoung. We need Song Hwa's consent to do anything."

Yoohan lifted his head, enough for Jay to gaze into the black eyes with firm pale orbs. "We should ask to meet with Ilhwan, so we could confirm it, and plan our next step from there."