UNHOLY

#UNHOLY25

The next day...I woke up with a heavy heart.

This is gonna be the day that I am going to finally have a talk with Nikolai.

When I woke up...I was already alone in bed. I bet he woke up again to prepare for our breakfast meal. Always taking care of me. So, sino ang hindi mahuhulog sa lalaking ito?

Inayos ko ang kama matapos kong matulala ng ilang minuto. Naligo na rin ako at pagkatapos magbihis ng damit ni Nikolai.

Nang maayos na ang sarili ay lumabas ako ng kwarto at dumeretso sa kusina kung nasaan ang lalaki. Nakatalikod ito habang abala sa pagluluto. Nangingibabaw ang bango ng pagkain hinahanda nito. Napahinto ako sa bukana ng kusina. Sobrang focus nito sa ginagawa dahil hindi man lang niya nararamdaman ang presensya ko. Pero okay lang, natutuwa akong panoorin siya.

"Alright.... Almost done. Orange juice for my love.."

I heard him whispering it to himself. Napangiti ako dahil sa tuwa. Pero nang maalala ko kung ano ang dapat kung gawin sa araw na ito ay unti unting nawala ang ngiti ko. How could I hurt this man?

But I know that this is for the better.  Not just for me but also for him. Especially him.

Bigla itong humarap sa akin habang nasa kamay ang plato na tingin ko ay dadalhin niya sa lamesa. Nagtama ang mga mata namin at ganun nalang ang pagtalon ng puso ko nang nakita ko ang tuwa sa mga mata nito pagkakitaan sa akin. Tuluyan na akong lumapit sa hapag habang ito naman ay naglalagay ng pagkain sa lamesa at nilapitan ako kaya ako napahinto.

"Good morning, love. How's your sleep?"

He gave me a comforting smile.

"It's good. Better than the previous nights." I also gave him an assuring smile.

Biglang kumalam ang tiyan ko nang maamoy ko ulit. He chuckled and pulled me towards the dining table. He pulled a chair beside and made me sit on it.

Siya pa sana ang maglalagay ng pagkain sa plato ko pero sinabi ko nalang sa kanya na maupo na para sabay kaming makakain.

We were in the middle of silently enjoying our breakfast when I decided to open a talk...

I put down my utensils and looked at him.

"Do you need anything else, love?"

"No...but can I talk to you later?"

His face became serious. He didn't respond for how many seconds and just continued to look at me. Seconds later, he sighed and nodded.

"Can we do that on the balcony? So you can breathe fresh air. Good for de-stressing."

My heart broke once again. How could this man be like this when I know he'll get hurt with things that I will say to him later?

I only nodded and just continued eating.

Nang matapos ay gusto ko sanang ako ang maghugas ng pinggan pero hindi niya ako hinayaan at pinauna sa balcony.

Hindi na ako nakikipagtalo at nauna na sa balcony dala ang kape na hindi ko pa natapos.

I sighed as I felt the warm breeze of fresh air on my skin. I held the cup using both of my hands and looked at the view from where I'm at.

I heard the sliding door open and I knew it was him.

Naramdaman ko kaagad ang yakap ni Nikolai sa aking likod  at dahil sa init na dala ng katawan nito ay mas lalo ko pang inilapit ang aking katawan sa kanya.

I heard him sighed when he caged me between his arms. We were silent for how many seconds until I decided to speak.

"Dad had a heart attack...because he found out about us."

I felt his body stilled but I continued to speak anyway habang hindi pa ako naduduwag.

"He had me followed and someone took pictures of us from the places we've been to."  I sighed.

"It's not your fault, love."

"It is. "

"No. It is not. Please don't blame yourself. I'm sorry for being careless...but please know that whatever happens, I will never ever leave you. I will fight for us."

Ngumiti ako ng mapait. Nasasaktan para sa taong alam kong kayang gawin ang lahat para sa akin.

"Adrian and I finally talked about our marriage...we're okay now."

Hindi ito umimik. At bago paman ito makaisip ng kung ano ay nagpatuloy ako.

"He finally admitted to cheating on me...the woman went to our house and talked to me. We settled things and decided to talk to my parents and let them know about it. Because I was ready to face things and fix everything..."

"B-But before we could even talk to him...he showed us the pictures..a-and that's when he had a heart attack."

My heart hurts when I think about my father's condition. I turned around and faced him with tears in my eyes. My heart hurts more when I see the pain in his eyes.

It's like he felt the pain I am feeling right now. I smiled in between tears.

"I-I'm p-pregnant.."

Nakita ko ang pagkabigla sa mga niya. He even gasped as if what I said took his breath away.

Nang makabawi ay kaagad nitong kinuha ang tasa sa mga kamay ko at nilagay sa maliit na lamesa na nasa balcony. Pagkatapos ay mahigpit niya akong niyakap.

"I-I'm sorry...baka maipit si baby." Kumalas siya sa akin at hinawakan ang tiyan ko kahit wala pa mang umbok doon.

He looked at me with his bloodshot eyes and kissed my forehead.

"God, I love you so much.." he whispered.

"I-I love you too, Nikolai.." pinilit kong sagutin kahit nanginginig ang akong boses.

"B-But we can't be together now...not when I am still married..and n-not when everything is not okay..." 

Kumalas siya sa akin at tinitigan ako gamit ang mga matang puno ng takot at sakit...

"I-I hope you u-understand.."

Ang bigat sa aking dibdib ay mas lalong nadagdagan nang makita ko ang mga luha sa mga mata niya.

"P-Please don't leave me.."

I sobbed and felt my heart breaking.

Tinignan ko siya gamit ang mga matang puno ng mga luha.

Luha para sa pagmamahal sa maling panahon..

Luha para sa tamang taong ang tanging ginawa lamang ay mahalin ako...