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"Heart eyes" Chapter Six: Coming Into the Light 04x14: Cold Comfort
*Trigger warning*
The body has different responses to falling in love, Eden didn't want to admit it, she didn't want to be alone, but everyone she ever let in to love her had died. Maybe she wasn't worthy of love, maybe the universe was telling her something. She didn't deserve to have her heart happy. She felt as though she would always be alone. That she couldn't let her heart feel that euphoric feeling again. Because if she did she would lose them, all the people who helped her open up bit by bit. When Jennifer found out she was pregnant, Eden was happy for her part of her wanting to scream, life at least for her just wasn't fair, she always asked what she did to deserve this much pain.
Today was going to be a day, her arms felt heavy and her mind was whispering to her. It had been days since Morgan and Eden kissed. It was as if she couldn't believe it happened. Like it was a fever dream. She was in the bullpen finishing up paperwork from all her past cases. Her stack was just as big as all of her colleagues. Everyone got to pick which days they wanted to come in and today, Eden, Reid, and Morgan were the only ones there. It was way too early in the day to be doing this kind of thing and the woman wanted nothing more than to curl up into a ball, Spence's stack was halfway by hour three and Eden had just got done with her tenth file. She was beginning to think that the day was going to last longer than she wanted.
She watched her coworkers, work, Reid with his pen pressed against his plump lips brows furrowed together, he was in intense thought, the steam from his coffee swirls through the air as he takes a sip slurping the hot beverage quickly before placing it back down, not taking his eyes from the files in front of him. Spencer knew about her, he knew when she had her high days and when she had her low days. Sometimes she wouldn't show up for work for a few days and then come back like nothing even happened. He watches for these things in his friends seeing as what happened with his mom.
How could he not know? He was waiting for the strawberry blonde to tell him herself, but until then he watched from a fair. Always keep snacks in his satchel. Spencer wanted to make sure that he was there for her. Whether she wanted him to be or not. He would be her person now and that was totally okay with him. Eden Hunters was a complete ray of sunshine. She was hot-tempered at times, but her heart was good, pure, broken to all hell, but nonetheless, she was a good soul. Her spirit radiated from every part of her. She didn't treat him like a child but as a friend. Eden made sure his feelings were validated. Eden hunters must've been made for him because there was no way someone like her that would give her the light of day.
Today was different than most. It was the day she lost her first baby. A girl named Adeline, Mark, and Eden had been trying so hard for a baby and after finding out she was pregnant she went out and bought a cute little outfit and wrapped it in a box with her positive pregnancy test, and left it on the counter for Mark. She was so excited to tell him that as soon as he opened it she nodded furiously as Mark picked her up and kissed her face a million times. Before sitting her down on the bed and kissing her stomach. He talked to her belly rubbing his hands across her stomach gently. It was when she turned twenty weeks when she had a miscarriage, she sat on her bathroom toilet and cried for hours. Blaming herself, her strangled sobs were the only thing heard throughout their shared loft that night. It took everything in her not to scream, not to run, to curl up into a ball under all of her blankets and never see the sunlight at least she still had Mark right?
