My head was spinning as I finally decided to look up, expecting to face the boy that was a millisecond away from killing the me, but he was nowhere to be seen. I don't know how long I had been sitting on the floor bawling my eyes out or how much time had passed since I came face to face with death. I carefully looked around the room. It had gotten a little darker outside and my room was filled with the light of the setting sun. It looked cozy. Cozy enough to stay right where I was. I didn't want to get up nor was I even able to. I laid my head back against the wall and looked up. I didn't want to think anymore, my head was already hurting enough. What kind of fairytale was I in? This had to be a dream, there was no way that all of what I had been experiencing actually happened. I can't be the only one going through this right now.. right?
A knock on my door filled the room. Ah shit. I quickly got up, my knees still feeling weak. "One second" I said before turning towards my mirror, quickly wiping away my tears. There was no way, whoever was in front of that door wasn't gonna notice my red eyes. I breathed in and opened the door to be faced with my brother, holding a bowl of Ramen and a coke in his free hand. The smile he had plastered on his face until now, slowly faded.
"Deiji? What happened?" he looked at me concerned, slipping past me, into my room. I turned and saw that he settled down the food on my nightstand and was walking towards me again. "Are you okay?" he asked, grabbing me by the shoulders and slightly bending down, since he was a little taller than me. Well until those words escaped his mouth, I was fine. But now that he asked me, I wasn't anymore. Silent tears began rolling down my cheek again. Without another word my brother embraced me, pulling my head into his chest. I rested my arms around him.
"It's okay" he whispered, trying to comfort me. I allowed myself to cry into his chest because I knew he wasn't gonna judge me for it. Since we were little he had always been there for me. We were really close, so close it almost didn't feel like he was my brother but more like a best friends whom I could tell anything. "You wanna lay down for a bit?" he asked me carefully, pulling away and taking my face into his hands. He wiped away my tears with his thumbs. I only nodded as a response, wanting him to comfort me because I knew I wasn't gonna comfort myself. He took my hand and pulled me towards the bed to sit me down.
I followed his lead and laid down under the blanked. My brother scooched in next to me and put his arm around my shoulder. I laid my head on his chest and let my entire body relax. He played with my hair to let me know I wasn't alone. I wasn't the person to cry a lot so he already knew that if I did cry, it was serious. "I made you food" Soobin said carefully. I remember the bowl of Ramen he put down on my nightstand. I didn't feel like eating if I'm being honest but it would be rude to not eat it.
Once I finished slurping my ramen, which was delicious by the way, I laid down again, my brother still softly smiling at me. "You feeling better?" he asked me. I nodded. I really was feeling better, solely by the fact that he was with me. My brother and I really were inseparable. We went through so much together and he is the only person that really knows me like himself so of course he made me feel better, even in the worst situations. "Wanna tell me about it?" Soobin asked very carefully, scared that I would start crying again. "Just a very rough day" I said, not lying. It really was a rough day. I didn't need to mention why it was that way. "Aw I get that. Everyone has those" my brother said reassuring me. "Just know if there's anything I can help you with or if you just wanna talk, let me know alright?" He ruffled my hair. "I don't want to see you crying alone" he then added, giving me a warm smile, which I gladly returned.
"Are you tired yet?" Soobin whispered, while we were watching my favorite tv show. "Yes a little" I whispered back. "Should I let you get some sleep then?" he asked again, about to kick the blanket off his body. I stopped him. "Can you stay?" I asked, knowing he wasn't able to turn down. He hesitated but then quickly agreed with the sleepover plan. We laid down again and he turned off the lights. "Sleep well Deiji" Soobin said to me but I was already drifting off to dreamland.
