Chapter 6 🤍🤍

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It's the next morning. I'm really light headed and I can't sleep. It's 4:35 am.

I look at myself on the mirror and see all the damage that is my body. I'm broken. I start to cry because I know that this will all never go away.

I walk over to my hiding spot for all my important stuff. I pull out my self-harm kit. I get my blade out and just as I am about to cut I think of two people. Josh.. and Finn.

I think of Josh because he is my brother and he cares about me and I think that if he knew what I was about to do he would come running to help me. All he wants to do is keep me from harm.

But then I am also thinking about Finn. Why do u care about him?? He dosent care about me. Ye he may have saved me form geting sexualy assaulted one time by Daniel but he then exposed me. Yes he gave me a plaster but that's only because he Probly wanted to be out of class longer. Yes he drove me home after the party. But that was because hw probably wanted to get info out of me to bully me. He is so horrible. But why do I care about him so much?? I can't like him. Ever!

Shit if Daniel know I was thinking about him he would literally.. god I don't even know at this point.

I go to put my kit away but the blade just keeps pulling towards me like a magnet. Then I feel if. The cold silver blade going across my warm skin. I do that a couple times then just look as I bleed. I always loved the look of blood.

I wait about 1 minutes then bandage it all up. I sit and cry because I regret it now. Knowing I'm never gonna look the same. Thease scares will always be on me. No taking them back.

I must have fallen asleep because my walk up on the floor to the sound of my alarm.

I grab my phone and look at the time and my notifications. It's early but I have to get up to get my mask on. And to cover myself and look like a fresh barbie.

I look at my year group, group chat and see there is going to be a party tonight.

I mean. Dads working night shifts all week so I was going to spend tonight with josh. So I don't think I'm going to it. But there is another one tomorrow and tomorrow is Josh's team sleepover and dads in night shift so it's a free pass.

( time skip )

I just made the brekfast and hear my dad moaning as I walk out the door. It's really cold this morning and I'm shivering. I'm thinking about everything that has happend since last night.

100 years ago I would have been put in a mental hospital for all of this shit.

I just arrive at school and go to my locker. I open It to find a pack of plasters. I look around and see Finn starting at me then he walks away.

How did he even know my pin ?? Just as I am in my own thoughts I feel Daniels hand grab on my waist and I flinch.

" don't flinch you idiot" daniels says.

Wow no hi or anything. What a boyfriend he is.

"Sorry" I say.

"You coming to the party tonight?" Daniel says.

"No I'm staying home with Josh." I say.

"Wow you would rather spend time with your brother than your boyfriend that's pathetic" said Daniel.

"I haven't stayed home with him in a while" I say shaky because this could go one of two ways.

"Fine whatever bitch" Daniel says walking of.

I start staring in to space when the bell goes of. I Wait for 5 minutes because I have English and I can't be bothered with it. I don't wanna see Daniel.

I get to English and sit down. All period Daniel had been touching my thigh and I just wanna be sick. But he has also been flirting with my "friend"Amy.

Is this dick cheating on me?!

The bell goes and I practically sprint out of class.

( time skip)

It's lunch. I am to hungry. I ate a little last night. I should be able to last for a couple days now. I'm such a fat pig. I'm hungry after like 17 hours?? I really am pathetic.

I walk out the lunch hall and start walking round the school go burn calories.

Just as I turn a corner I feel a hand in my upper arm and I get pulled into the janitor cubord.

"What the he-" I say but I turn around and see who it is. It's Finn.

"Finn"I say. "What do you want?! What can you possibly want?!" I start saying.

"Josh told me and the team everything yesterday at practise" Josh says.

I gulp because I feel like he is going to expose me.

" Finn please I will do anything please don't expose me do anything please-" I start to say but get cut of.

"Wow slow down I'm not gonna expose you"Finn says. Unbelievable.

"Yes you are. You always bully me one way or another finn" I say. "What do you want Finn just tell me . Ans how did you know my pin?" I say.

"I saw you put your pin in so I bough you some plasters for.." he says.

I just look at him because I have no idea what to say.

"Sophie I know we are practically enemies but believe it or not I know what you are going through and I know I caused a little bit of this so here is my number. Just call or somthing Befor you hurt yourself or do somthing stupid" he says. Wow he sounds like he cares.

"Ha. You just want me to tell you so you can have a big thing to expose me about" I start.

"Sophie- " he starts but I cut him of.

" no Finn we don't work we are ment to hate eachother and that is how it works" I say.

I walk out the cubord and bump right into my "friends". " oh hey Sophie" Amy starts.

Then Finn comes our the cubord. Shit.

"OMG Sophie did you and Finn.. oh my god this is good drama" my "friends"  say.

"No it was nothing like that-"I start but then the all start shouting down the hall. Fuck I'm screwed.

I look at Finn and walk of.
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I'm back guys !!!!! How are you guys doing I hope you are okay. I am on 5 reads in actually so happy people are reading this. I will try post again this week but not making any promises. Hope you guys likes it and if you have any suggestions please leave them in the comments ans please be nice. Bye !!!

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