Trust me..

Chapter 25 🤍🤍

I wake up around 2 ish and see Finn is still sleeping. I have go get up and leave so I am home to get Breckfast and stuff ready for my dad and the boys. I sit and stare at Finn and think of all the bad things I have led him to. God I am an awful person.

I put my shoes on and climb out the window. It's still dark outside. And a little chilly. It's so peaceful walking at night. Like everyone on the world has disappeared and it's just me.

I see a bridge as I'm walking and I stop and look at it. I think about how easy it would be to just jump of. But for the first time in years...I decide I want to turn away. It felt...good. I take a deep breath and keep walking.

As I am turning a corner I hear someone behind me but I spit think to much about it. Till I hear them get closer. And closer. I look behind me and I see a man. He looks like he is in his early 30's with bad teeth and had a lot of bad life choices. But I don't have time to continue analysing Him.

I start to walk faster but my legs start to feel weak. He starts jogging and I try but he catches up. He grabs me around my waist.

"Let go!" I shout.
"Hey hey it's okay baby girl" he says and puts his head in my neck.
"What do you want!"
"I want you honey" he says.
"No!" I shout and squirm.
He takes me and pins me to the brick wall in the ally.

He puts his cold hands under my cloths and touches me.
"Get of me!" I shout and start to cry.
"No baby it's alright" he says.

He starts to kiss me but I knee his in the balls as hard as possible and run like my life depended on it. I was close to home but he was close behind me. Once I got to the door and open it I run inside and up the stairs to josh's room.

"Josh help me!" I say waking him up.
"Sophie what's wrong?" He says.
I hear the man downstairs coming into the house.
"A-a man followed me home and h-he...touched m-me!" I say. And josh immediately gets up. Then I hear the hockey boys shouting downstairs completely forgetting they stayed over.

Josh runs down the stairs to see the hockey boys fighting the guy outside and josh gives him an upper cut.

"Touch my sister again and I will kill your mother fucker!" Josh says and gives him a broken nose. The guy runs and the hockey boys turn to me.

"Sophie are you okay?" Josh asks.
But I can't get my words out. I just turn out go to my room. Josh knocks but I don't answer my door. How can a peaceful walk home turn into this? Why is it always me?

I sit on my windowsill and look outside. I have to remind myself that cutting myself won't fix things. Weed won't fix things. Weighing myself won't fix things. Tablets won't fix things.

Just sit still.

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I don't realise the time till I hear my dad getting up and I realise I haven't made breakfast. SHIT!

I run down the stairs and start trying to make anything as fast as possible. I'm cutting up fruits and I put toast in the toaster. My dad is gonna hate this breakfast. Fuck.

He is coming down the stairs and I am throwing everything on the plate. I put it on the table and go to start washing up. I pick up the knife that I was using to cut the fruit but I drop it. And without thinking I wrap my hand around the sharp bit really tight and I feel it.

Everything stops then I hear my dad shouting.
"Sophie this is ridiculous!" He says and pulls my hair. He goes to my ear and wipers "when josh is gone you are mine" he whispers.

Then he pushes me and gets his breakfast. I sit in the floor for a couple second then all the hockey boys come into the kitchen.

"Sophie?" Tommy says. He comes and kneels down to me and takes the knife from my hand. I look at him and he gives me a small comforting smile. He helps me up and washes my hand for me. The hockey boys understand what's going on and all go back to the living room.

Tommy takes me back up to my room.
"Did you mean to cut your hand Sophie?" He asked.
"No tommy I promise...I just got up late and was in a rush and wasn't thinking properly" I say and look out my window.
"Well... me and the guys will just go out for breakfast. Do you wanna come?" He asked.
I don't reply but I think he gets the message and he leaves the room.  

I sit for about an hour then desided to go for a shower. Once I'm naked I look in the mirror and realise how dirty that guy was. I have dirt on me. And I guess I didn't relish how hard he was grabbing me because I have hand print bruises all over me.

I shower then go to my room and get ready for the day. It's really hot outside today. I remember the days I could sit outside with crop tops on and play with Josh with little abuse. I miss those days.

When the hockey boys come back they are all having pastries and they brung me a croissant.
I sit in the couch with them in a hoodie and jeans and don't say much.

They all take looks at me but nobody says anything.

"Hey why don't we all go to my house today. It's finally hot enough to use the pool and I have some beers" said Jack.

And obviously all the hockey boys said yes.
"Sophie you can come to but you are not gonna where that. But something nice on so you don't die of a heat stroke" said Josh.

"N-no it something I don't want to go anyways" I say. Josh gives me a look telling me I don't have a choice. I sigh.

I go up to my room. I have worn anything for hot weather in years. I'm not sure any of it will still fit me. I find a pair of shorts and an old band t-shirt and put them on. I instantly feel uncomfortable.

They're all gonna see my scars. They're all gonna see my weight. They're  gonna see the bruises. I look like a mess.
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Hey guys... I am so sorry I have been so busy and had really bad writer block 😭😭 back tho so heyyyy