"Well, hi, Moose-Moose." Michael chuckles, dropping his large bag and setting his guitar case down as he crouches, scratching behind the dog's ears as she jumps excitedly on him, licking at his chin. "Who brought you home? Is Roy here?" Michael asks softly, petting South as well before glancing up as he hears soft footfalls on the hardwood floor. "Jo?" His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, seeing his girlfriend wander around the corner dressed in pajamas, her face bare of makeup and hair messy like she'd just woke up.
"Hey." She smiles weakly.
"What, what are you doing here?" He half chuckles, shocked by her presence in his home.
"We need to talk." She sighs, "So, I told a lie and came to talk."
"Why do you sound defeated, Jo? We can figure this out, that's why you're here, right? To figure this out?" He stands slowly, stepping towards her cautiously.
"That's why I came." She nods, "Come on, we need somewhere more comfortable than standing in the entryway."
"Ya, um, the couch." He motions past her towards the living room.
"Michael." Jo turns to him as they sit, an awkward few inches separating them.
"Why does this feel like a break up, Jo? Why does it feel like you've already made up your mind and I can't change it?" Michael sighs, the energy in the room all wrong, her inability to hold eye contact only adding to his worry.
"Because, it is." She whispers, her voice cracking slightly as she does.
"What? Why? I told you it was okay, that we are okay. You don't have to say you love me until you're ready, I get it, Jo! I know you're ex was a fucking douche, I know the distance our relationship has endured has to have been hard after everything that happened with him. But we made it, we made it to the east part. So why are you calling it quits on me without a fight?"
"Because of everything you said to me on the phone over the last few weeks, because of the notebook on your nightstand with notes about my game schedule and travel plans, because you love me and I don't know if I can ever say the same to you... because you deserve better than me." She sighs, running a hand through her hair.
"You said you came here to fix us..."
"I did. I was hellbent on fixing us, on proving to my dad that you're not a problem for me. And the worst part is that you're not, you're perfect. But I'm a problem for you, and you deserve so much more than my broken, untrusting, unavailable, caged heart."
"I want your heart. I want you, Jo." She can see the tears welling in his beautiful viridescent eyes.
"You'll never have it... that's the problem. I thought maybe I could learn to let go, to love you, to share my heart with you... but I can't." She shakes her head.
"Why not? What is the almighty proof of this realization?" He'll be damned if he goes down without an explanation and a fight.
"I came here last night, after the game. I'd fought with my dad again, about you and my injury and everything. I was so mad, and I booked a flight to prove him wrong. But..." She takes a deep steadying breath, trying to keep in control of her own emotions. "When I got here, I wanted to fall asleep in your bed, wrapped in your scent and wake up reminded of how much I want to love you."
"I'm missing the bad part in this, Jo! I want all of that!"
"But, the notebook on your nightstand, my team schedule and flight dates written out, a heart around New York and little notes of excitement. The end of tour marked in red like it was a date you were waiting for."
"I was waiting for today, for tomorrow, to be with you for an extended period of time." He reaches out slowly to take her hand.
"That notebook, it made me realize that you're right, Michael. You're more invested than I am, than I can be, and you don't deserve to be in a relationship where you're more invested than your partner, than me. And it's not that I don't want to be invested, I just can't be. I'm too broken. I've never given myself the chance to heal from all of the damage inflicted in the implosion of my last relationship. It's not fair for me to string you along when I'm so broken, and not sure if I could ever be fixed, if I could ever give you what you deserve from me."
"I love you, Jo. I want you to fight for this." Michael's tears suddenly spill, his hands tightening around hers as he slides closer.
"I know." She swallows hard, looking up to the ceiling as she tries to blink back her own emotions, "I wish that was enough. I really, really do." She startles as his lips meet her extended neck, tears beading down her throat as he presses kiss after kiss to her skin.
"Please don't do this, baby, please." He sobs into her skin, his hands snaking around her waist, tugging her closer.
"I have to." She whispers, wrapping her hands around his neck against her better judgment, holding him as he falls apart, wishing she had a better answer, one that wouldn't hurt him so much. But deep down she knows this is less painful than him slowly realizing he will always be more invested than her. Ripping the bandaid off for him now is easier than watching him fall further in love while simultaneously coming to the realization that she is not. She has to do it this way, to save him more pain.
"I love you, Jo. I love you so much." Michael breathes into her skin.
"I know, and I care about you too, Michael. That's why I have to walk away, I have to do it to protect you. I'm sorry, I wanted this to work out, I wanted you and me, but I don't think I can do this. I'm going to disappoint you, sooner or later you're going to have to accept that I am not in the same place you are, and the sooner it happens the less I'll hurt you. So, I'm doing it now, I'm cutting this off to protect you, to cause the least amount of damage, to salvage any part of your heart that's still untouched."
"There isn't any part of my heart untouched by you, Jo. I love you with every part of me. Please, please don't do this!"
"I'm sorry." She slips from his grasp, pushing his hands away when he tries to reach for her again. "I have to do this. For you."
"No." He whispers, his heart all but literally laying in his hands for her.
"I'm sorry." She shakes her head, pushing to her feet, "I'm another life I really think I could have loved you the way you deserved." She adds, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead, "I'm sorry." She whispers before stepping out of the hold his hands had taken on her hips.
"Jo!" He calls after her as she heads for the door, "Jo! Please!" He yells as she ignores him. "I love you..." He adds just before hearing the front door shut, knowing she's gone and she's not coming back.
Body giving out, Michael slumps sideways, pulling the throw blanket from the back of the couch and letting the sobs out, his body shaking as the faint smell of Jo's body wash floats around his face. Moose jumps onto the couch first, nudging his arm with her nose a couple times before he pulls the pup into his chest, burying his face into her soft curls. He can feel South a moment later, plopping behind his neck, his little head resting on Michael's shoulder.
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When I tell you I rewrote this chapter at least four times... 🤦🏼♀️ (that's a record for me, and a very annoying one at that) four very different ways this story could have changed based on the conversation in this chapter and this is where I landed. I'm happy with the plan ahead, though I'm not sure any of you will be...
Thoughts?
Vote and comment! Even if it's to tell me how much you hate me for hurting Michael.
I love you guys!!!
~M =)
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End Game
Fanfiction"Everything in my life has always been a game, a goal, or a distraction. So which one are you?" "A game." Michael answers confidently. "So the truth comes out..." Her tone quite clearly tells him how hurtful she found his response. "Let me finish...
