Episode 30: Holiday Punch

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~The Man Cave~

T'was the afternoon before Christmas, and all through the Cave, the mood was jolly yet panicked, festive but stressy, merry yet messy.

There should've been peace on Earth, good tidings, and flowing eggnog for all the men, women and children in Swellview since the town was decorated down to the last doornail, decked with twinkling lights, pretty ornaments and a light powdering of snow.

However, to say Christmas was two days away, and a grim mood hung over the city, repelling any seasonal cheer and making people sneer at their neighbours rather than exchange gifts.

It started with a tree. And then, another. And another. And then, an entire forest. Y'see, Swellviewians argued that they couldn't have Christmas without a tree to decorate, put presents underneath, and rock around. So, when the tree slowly started to brown, shrivel and decay, the mobs hit the streets.

"Yes, ma'am, I know. I appreciate your five-year-old son is in tears, but we're currently swamped with dead Christmas tree calls..." (y/n) said politely as she listened to the furious woman in Downtown Swellview.

It took a lot of resilience to take the abuse and hysteria reported from the city's every corner, but the woman could only be so courteous. Everyone's tree was dying, whether they were still on the tree farms or cut down and decorated by the fireplace.

"Well, if that's your answer, you can shove your tree up your chimney! And a very Merry Christmas to you, too!" She replied snappily before slamming the phone down on the supercomputer, pinching her eyes to stem the pounding ache between her temples.

"Another rude one?" Charlotte asked as she touched (y/n)'s shoulder, comfortingly stroking the soft wool of her new, festive sweater.

Ray bought it for her, loving how cute and snuggly it made her look at what was a significant time of year for them, but the man mysteriously disappeared just as the first dead tree reports came flooding in

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Ray bought it for her, loving how cute and snuggly it made her look at what was a significant time of year for them, but the man mysteriously disappeared just as the first dead tree reports came flooding in. Therefore, Charlotte comforted her, though she wouldn't do any cuddling, kissing or touchy stuff.

"An absolute bitch. What does she want me to do? Snap my fingers and magically bring her tree back to life?"

"Stay with me, tree!" Schwoz called out from across the room - as if he'd heard them through his focused, adrenaline-fuelled rampage before the phone rang again.

Having been distracted by their task, the three at the computer had ignored the genius, who'd been tasked with reviving any tree found clinging to life. Like an extra from Grey's Anatomy, he battled to keep the withered evergreen alive, hooking it up to an EVS monitor as he pumped its branches like he needed to circulate the sap.

He didn't give up, not even when the vital signs began to plummet to dangerously low levels, which didn't make sense, but this was the Man Cave at Christmas - nothing was normal.

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