calendar ↠ the boyz

fourteen

The girl stared at cake sitting on the kitchen island. "Really?"

"What?" Sanha shrugged, looking at it too.

"You could just say sorry," Jinae huffed, opening the box nonetheless. "Oh, it looks good."

"You could also apologise," he argued back. "It wasn't all me. You practically stalked me for no reason."

His sister gave him a face that said 'are you kidding me?' It was then he knew he should back off. "You didn't have to say all that in the morning."

Sanha sighed, sitting down as his sister cut him a piece of cake and handed it to him on a plate. "I know. It was just tough love and I didn't mean for it to sound so nasty."

"You're forgiven," Jinae nodded.

"Because of the cake?" To which she shrugged as she stuffed a piece into her mouth. "I shouldn't comment on your relationships. I'm just a protective big brother."

"It's okay," she sighed. "You were right. He didn't try. I spent years wondering what it would've been like had we just kept in touch, but it would've been no use."

Sanha listened, nodding slowly. "Do you believe that?"

"We would've grown apart anyway," Jinae nodded. "Long distance isn't sustainable, not at this age."

The boy stayed silent, eating his cake at a much slower pace now. He never seemed enthusiastic about the conversation, per se, but he certainly wasn't himself now.

"What have I said?" The younger asked, putting down her cake as she awaited a response.

One that never came, just sad eyes.

It was then she remembered how long he was away for school, and now how he was back for good. "Don't tell me-"

"It was stupid," Sanha started, smiling sadly to himself. "I shouldn't have ever gotten involved with someone I knew I would have to leave one day."

Jinae felt nothing but regret for their argument and conversation. "Do you keep in touch?"

"Yeah, every day," her brother sported a genuine smile. "Hence why I told you all Haknyeon needed to do was try. But I guess you're right, I've had my doubts too. At this age, we're growing so much, everything is changing."

The girl just nodded, listening as her brother told her all about the girl at the other side of the world that he loved. "Just because that's my opinion, it doesn't mean everything won't work out for you two."

"Ah, we'll see," Sanha shrugged, that weak smile still upon his lips. "Do me a favour?"

"Ugh, what?" She groaned jokingly. "Only because you're upset."

"I'm not!" He denied, eating his cake again. "Apologise to Sunwoo. He's pretty hurt."

So she took her brothers advice. A little too literally. "A cake?"

Jinae had to physically bite her tongue to help her refrain from saying "this wasn't my idea". Instead, she opted to lie. "This was all my idea."

"Okay, I'm convinced," Sunwoo said sarcastically, opening his door a little further. "You can come in."

"Oh, no thank you," her hand flew to her belly. "I'm very full."

"Why are you being weirder than usual?" The boy laughed, motioning for her to come in. "I'm not going to force feed you cake, Jinae."

Reluctantly, the girl stepped foot inside. His home was lovely and cozy, which somehow didn't surprise her.

She looked around at the photos of Sunwoo and his family, which she vaguely remembered from their younger years.

What struck her most was a picture of the boy on the wall. He stuck his tongue out and wore a baseball cap with a football T-shirt on. "Ha, that's how I remember you."

Sunwoo smiled as the girl tore her eyes from the picture before he looked away. "Everyone says that."

Jinae awkwardly shuffled into the kitchen where the boy observed the cake.

He then realised it was not a cake, but in fact a massive cookie with the words 'I'm sorry" written in icing.

It looked professionally done, so Sunwoo raised his eyebrow. "You went through all this trouble when you could've just said you were sorry?"

"This seemed easier," the girl shrugged. "So, yeah..."

"Well, thank you," he nodded, observing the girls awkward demeanour. "I appreciate it."

"It's okay," Jinae smiled weakly, looking everywhere but him. "Were you really upset?"

"Huh?"

"Were you really upset by what I said?" She repeated, looking actually concerned. It was then her face softened as she realised he inspected her expression. "I mean, did I buy this cake for nothing?"

Sunwoo chuckled, shaking his head at her words. Her awkwardness never failed to amaze him. "I was upset, I won't lie."

"Okay..." the girl pondered what to say next, but she was still in a state of confusion. "But... why? I mean, I know it wasn't nice but I didn't think it was something that would keep you up at night."

It was then the boy sucked in a breath, wondering if he should really wear his heart on his sleeve like he was about to.

But something about the fact she didn't have a conscience of how she hurt him made him want to.

"Growing up, you never took notice but I always wanted to involve you in whatever me and Sanha did," Sunwoo started. "You were always alone, it made me sad."

"Why?" The girl tilted her head. "I was happy."

"Yeah, maybe you were. But it didn't make it any easier to see," he shrugged, staring at the cookie. "I didn't mean to involve myself that day, or act like I was 'your brother', but I guess I'm just strangely used to looking out for you, even when you're arguing with my best friend."

Jinae stayed silent, her eyes threatening to spill a tear at his thoughtful words.

She felt the guilt in her stomach as she looked at the vulnerable boy in front of her. It all made sense. "I'm truly sorry."

"Don't be," he shook his head, finally catching her eye. "I'd just rather you knew that. You shutting me out every time I'm in your presence does hurt sometimes, as much as I try to joke about it."

"It'll never happen again," Jinae nodded, wiping her sweaty palms on her jacket. "I'll be on my way, then. Enjoy your cake- or cookie... whatever it is."

Before he could say bye, she was gone. He watched as she walked by his window, her head hung low.

She hung it in shame knowing that despite knowing him all this time - she had judged Kim Sunwoo far too quick.