calendar ↠ the boyz

twenty three

(TW - anxiety/panic attack)

As Jinae stared at the books in front of her, she came to realise that maybe April was actually one of her least favourite months.

Exams were approaching and she felt nothing short of helpless, which was most unlike her.

"What?" The girl asked barely beyond a mumble.

Changmin and Chanhee looked between each other then back to her, even though she buried her head further into the notebook.

"You just aren't studying like usual," her best friend commented. "I've never seen you this engrossed in it."

Ignoring his words, Jinae continued to read. Countless sentence that soon turned into a cloud of meaningless words.

Her head was a mess. She was tired from her shift at the daycare last night, she found herself barely sleeping these days. Maybe the thought of her future was the thing that kept her up the most, but even now when she was trying to study to benefit the rest of her life - she couldn't.

"Ready to go?" Chanhee dragged the girl from her thoughts.

Looking up to see them with their belongings packed away and coats on, the girl shook her head. "I'll stay."

"Really?" Changmin pressed further, Jinae simply nodding as she sunk back into her seat again.

"Yeah," she replied eventually, not sparing them another glance. "I have a lot to do."

"Okay," her best friend sucked in a deep breath. She was shutting them out, he knew this act well. "Well, get home safe and don't study too hard."

"I'm just saying Jinae," Mrs Yoon continued. "Studying until 7pm after school isn't healthy nor is it like you."

"And I'm just saying that I needed to," Jinae argued. "This is one of the only days off I have this week."

Sunwoo glanced awkwardly at Sanha who focussed on his food and not the bickering that his mother and sister participated in. He knew his mother was angry that she had to wait so long to eat dinner and that Jinae had walked home alone in the darkening evening, but he also understood how hard it was for Jinae.

Nonetheless, he shrugged when his best friend looked his way.

"Maybe if I actually had a tutor it would be easier," silence overcame the table as Mrs Yoon looked up at her daughter.

"Are we forgetting whose fault it is that we don't have Sangyeon here this year?"

"I'm not having this argument today-"

"I could talk to him," Sunwoo perked up, the two women dropping their fight to stare at him blankly. His eyes drifted to Jinae who seemed more hopeful about the idea. "If it would be of help-"

"Sunwoo, don't encourage her," Sanha cut the boy off. "She only wants him here because she has some crush on him."

"Shut up!" Jinae shouted, shaking her head. "He actually helped me."

Her brother rolled her eyes, eating another bite of his dinner that neither of his family members had touched. "You never needed a tutor then suddenly a handsome one comes along and you listen to every word. You'd never have accepted a tutor-"

"Years ago! I know this," the girl groaned, looking at her mother. "This is all your fault. You brought him over thinking it would be good for me then now I have nothing."

"I thought it would be a good idea since your head was up in the clouds after your breakup with Haknyeon!"

Sunwoo watched as the two continued to fight, watching how Jinae had so much willpower still left in her despite her eyes looking as though they were practically upside down. She looked like she had hardly any life in her, absolutely drained yet she still continued to argue with her mother.