Adoring Levi

two

My fingers are lightly tapping against my stomach, following the rhythm of the music blaring in my ears. My eyes are darting around the room, trying to find a way to occupy themselves. It's pitch black, so it's not like I can see anything.

Suddenly, my phone begins vibrating on my chest. The alarm almost deafens me, reminding me that I should turn it down. It's finally time for me to get up.

I take my phone off my chest, flipping over to lay on my stomach. The brightness of my screen takes me by surprise. I turn off the alarm while squinting and take a look at the time. It's 5:30.

It was almost impossible for me to sleep last night. After I agreed to meet Levi outside, I spent the next few hours in bed, playing out any possible scenarios that could happen, but mostly screaming at myself for being so stupid.

How the fuck could I zone out while staring at someone? It made me look like a stalker. I hope he bought my idiotic excuse as to why I was staring at him, but I have a feeling he didn't.

My night consisted of three different naps, all adding up to a total of four hours and forty minutes of sleep. I'm not sure if I'll be able to get through this day with such little energy.

Once I woke up for the final time, at 5:02, I had to put on some music to distract me from the thoughts running through my head. It didn't work; every song that played brought me back to the horrible memories from the month of a February. I don't try to forget those events, but I do try to lessen how much I dwell on it. Moving to California has not helped me at all with the healing process. If anything, I have had too much free time over the six weeks we've been here, so I had more time to get lost in those feelings of guilt and regret.

Stumbling out of my bed, I open one of the drawers by my desk and take out the skincare items I need for the morning. Thankfully, my sisters don't wake up until 6, so I don't have to fight anyone to go to the bathroom. I shield my eyes with my right hand as I turn in the light, once again getting blinded by the fluorescent yellow lights.

Once I'm done with my business, I look in the mirror to assess my face. My brows furrow as I move closer, noticing a pimple forming on my forehead. Fuck. My. Life. My face usually breaks out when I have something important to do, or when my period is near. It definitely isn't my period since it ended last week. I groan at the sight of it and decide to find a way to make my hair cover it once I change.

The sink is completely soaked after I finish brushing my teeth and carrying out my skincare. Washing my face is a task that I always get shouted at for afterwards due to the pool do water I always left behind. I always leave the bathroom with water on my tops and pants and in some strands of my dark brown hair.

As I make my way to my room, I hear two alarms going off, both the same ringtone. Soon enough, I'll be hearing the voices of my sisters arguing about who should use the bathroom first.