The Warrior's Gamble

Chapter 3

Caitlin

Present Day

I've never been a huge fan of my birthday. There was also a sort of disappointment about it. The expectations always higher than the reality of it. My parents always treated me to the fanciest dinner in the city – a place that actually had a decent vegetarian menu.

Mom, Dad, Parker, and me sit in near silence "enjoying" my fancy birthday dinner. Parker gives me a slightly sympathetic look as Mom starts talking about the latest society event. Dad is distracted. He keeps checking his phone. I'm not privy to business dealings, but I know that since the Marino family and the Yenin Bratva joined forces with the Donnellys, things have been more than a little crazy.

I sip my seltzer water and nod along with Mom.

Birthdays just aren't the same anymore.

Not without Will here.

No family dinner even feels right anymore.

Family, in general, feels like the wrong word to call us anymore.

I couldn't wait to be done with this dinner so I could go hang out with Nessa, Viv, and Mira.

"Now that you're 20, I think it's time we start really talking seriously about this whole marriage arrangement," Mom says suddenly, breaking my thoughts.

I almost choke on my pasta.

"Ma, please," Parker sighs in my defense. I give my brother an appreciative nod.

"What? She doesn't want to go to school. She doesn't want to take part in society events. What do you want, Caiti?" Mom all but snaps at me.

I swallow the lump in my throat, praying this dinner was close to over.

I don't know what I want.

I'm twenty years old. Why do I need to have it all figured out?

I hated school. I like learning, but I get distracted easily. I only like learning things I want to learn about. I always excelled best at subjects and topics that interested me. But college wasn't for me.

I'd always wanted to be a mom.

I think deep down I knew I'd always wanted kids. I would love the crap out of my kids, love them so much more than I was ever loved.

But saying that out loud felt silly.

Especially considering I would need a husband to do so.

And that, well, that was terrifying.

"Perhaps we can arrange a dinner with Jake McCormac for you," she goes on.

McCormac – one of Donnelly's men. Jake is his son. He's ten years older than me and I've noticed him looking at me a lot at recent events.

"Can we not talk about this?" I ask quietly, hoping for a subject change.

We manage to get through the rest of the dinner unscathed.

"You alright?" Parker asks me later as we drive over to the Donnellys later that evening. He loosens his tie, annoyedly.

Parker and I have grown closer the last year or so. He is one of the only people who knows about my past eating disorder. He felt terrible when he caught me forcing myself to puke in a moment of weakness. He apologized for hurting me in the past. Parker isn't the type to get emotional or apologize for anything, so I know he means it. He's been trying with me, which I appreciate.