Its 12 o'clock and I am sitting at my terrace, a cup of milk in my hand, my sweater feels so comfortable, but my mind is not at ease, my mind is all jumbled up, just thinking of how a twenty-three years old me will appear in court for something I am not even aware of. And I haven't even had time to mourn my dad respectfully. And my mom just mentioned we are to lay my dads' corpse to rest tomorrow being 26th of February, my dad passed on the twenty third of February, and it makes me sad to think that I haven't done something beautiful for me. I look up as I let memories with my dad occupy my mind.
My dad fought for me one time at school, I smile at the awkward memory, as I remember the shock written on the faces of most of the parents present as my dad stood up to another parent. But my smile drops as I recall my loss. "He's not here" I whisper, I feel the wind making contact with my thick hair, I begin to think of how foolish I had been with my thoughts, I once thought that he would never leave, that I would stay with my family until forever, that maybe we would all die together. But oh, how wrong was I to have thought that, now he is nothing but just a memory, tears begin rolling down my cheeks, and my hand begins to quiver. It pains, especially when I think of what I can't do even as a citizen with a lot of rights. I angrily gulp down my milk in one go, and leave the veranda knowing tomorrow will go by in a blur. I just wonder how busy my mom is going to be today, with less than four friends and a stigmatized daughter to help. At least they are more than enough as those friends seem to be real.
I remember my best friend. And sometimes when I think of her bossing me around, I feel like maybe I am wasting my time in the wrong relationship My eyes get wet as I think of what I have gone through in the hands of so-called best friend. Just what did I ever do to deserve every form of injustice I have been getting? Tears begin rolling down my cheeks and then unto my pillow as I find rest in darkness.
**
"It’s nothing like that" I overhear my mom’s friend say to her as she consoles my mom. It's the D-day today, my father’s funeral and everyone is dressed in black, and the whole place is so quiet just the way mother wanted, a few of daddy's colleague came and dropped condolence envelopes, making it obvious that their coming is just out of official duty.
I watch mum as she cries so hard, her sobs turn to wails, as dad’s casket is being lowered into the ground. I can't console her at this moment, as she has friends around; I am in tears today, because of my dad and something else.
I was standing and minding my business when someone sneaked a paper into my hands. It happened so fast I couldn’t get a proper look at the person and with the amount of black clothes everywhere it would be hard to find anything out of the ordinary since everyone seems to be sporting a black dress or a black suit.
Slowly I open the small piece of paper and then suddenly I felt like wiping my whole existence off the face of the earth. It read "murderer!! How does it feel to be framed by one" someone did something evil, knowing I will be the one to pay for the crime he/she committed? I vowed to save it, knowing now it is a murder, maybe even planned by a group of people.
Still I look around to see if there is anyone I could consider suspicious around me, but there is nothing out of the ordinary happening around. And I feel uncomfortable already coupled with the stares I have been getting, God, can't I just mourn my dad's death in peace, why do they have to look at me like I am a torn in their flesh, all their looks of disdain are being recorded in my head, making it hard for me to breathe and think clearly. But I have to say though, that as I stand in the midst of all the forced wails and crocodile tears, I have gotten a courage that permits me to live my life, that permits me to become someone in life who matters, that permits me to be an anchor for my mom not withstanding my condition. As I walk down to where my mom is squatting almost slightly kneeling, I feel my blood boil in anger, whoever did this just wanted me to go to prison, that person did not take his/her time to think about my mom, took no time out to think about the shortened life of my dad. Something is coming, something huge is coming, and despite what it is, no matter the new kind of pain, no matter the new look of disdain, no matter the new form of allegation, I vouch myself the winner. I will eventually in all my brown skin glories evolve strong and once I do, they'll hear.
For as long as I live black life will matter, and I don't care if I am the only black left to uphold it, but I will make space for my kids. So, with this courageous thought in mind, I put my hands into the pocket of my gown and bring out the piece of paper that I kept safely hidden inside of my pockets.
"I'll give this to my lawyer" I mutter and sit on the soil close to my mom with fresh tears rolling down my cheeks as I see the last of my dad. My mom looks at me with tears in her eyes and then stretches out her hand grabbing mine in hers; I tighten my hands in hers just to reassure her of a forever companionship. I smile in the midst of my tears, and speak through my tears. "I will be strong for us daddy, and as I promised you that years later, or maybe just in a short while, no one will have that chance to bully me".
**
I look around and notice that a lot of people have piled out of the open space, and knowing no one will be able to come to my house as per moms’ request, I make haste to gather our things and put myself in order. Just as I am about to put the last of the envelope into the bag, I have been putting the rest in, a shadow hovers over me. And as the shadow forms fully I look up.
"I am sorry for your loss" the stranger says, I get up and dust my gown getting rid of any imaginary dust I might have on my gown.
I come in contact with my own lawyer. "Donald" I call his name, nodding in response to his name being called he proceeds to bring out a heavy looking envelop from inside the pocket in his suit jacket. "whatever may be, even if I hate you, I hate bully more" he hands the envelope to me, and in all his handsome glory smiles down at me, no wonder he's been awarded most handsome amongst the circle of year two girls.
"I will take my leave now" he turns his back and proceeds to leave when I call him back “wait!” I almost yell making him stop in his tracks, "When will I see you again" I ask. He turns back and looks at me in disbelieve, like he couldn't understand a word I spoke.
"I don't like you. Don't forget that" he says, then puts his hand in his pocket and gives me his firm's card.
"Already!" I scream. "You're not even done with school just yet". He walks away, no comment, but believe me when I say that it looks so hot when he walks away. Shaking my head, I look away in disbelieve ‘did I just think he was hot?’ I ask myself internally.
Taking my mind of what just transpired between I and Donald my hands begin itching me as reality dawns on me, "I will soon be taken to court" although no date has been set, I am fully aware of the fact that this whole court thing just got too real and serious. With my eyes still on my mom I walk slowly with the bag filled with a lot of envelops, kneeling beside my mom, I begin patting her shoulder, but still it seems like she just can't see anything, even though the whole event has already been concluded, to her it didn't look like it, because her eyes were still quite steady, staring at what lay ahead of her.
Suddenly mom turns toward me and wipes her tears, getting up she with a smile on her face she says "Let’s start afresh shall we?” Who am I to reject her proposal, when I am more in need of a fresh start than she is? I just wish we can travel already, but I guess for someone in my predicament it's going to be so hard.
YOU ARE READING
HIS BROWN SKIN GIRL| (EDITED VERSION)✔
Romance"His dislike became his obsession" Set in a time and place where being black became a stigma. Katherine Mendel found herself in a dead category of brown skinned. Katherine's father was said to have committed suicide. But a murder planned wrong broug...
