Sonata of The Shattered | Book I

Regrets Do Come Later

5 May 2022

As soon as she went home from the reunion, Fransesca locked herself in the bedroom. All alone in silence, no one to talk to. It was confirmed that the man was here, around Singapore, this week and for the rest of the days; no one knows until when but she's super sure that it would be for years. Years, as now he settled down with his wife. His beloved wife, Melissa.

She could remember it clearly, the day when Clayton proposed to her for a marriage after their one night stand and Fransesca decided to reject the proposal, as she felt nothing for him. Nothing, or perhaps the feeling came late. She's too naive to understand that the feeling she had inside at that time was love— love, that she mistook for something else.

When he's gone the day after, she knew that it was her biggest mistake. The biggest mistake she could never tell him. She knew how the man was hurt from her rejection, deeply, causing the man to leave the country right after that particular incident. Leaving with a broken heart.

"So you are here... after all those years.." she mumbled as she looked out of the window, staring at the city view with skyscrapers everywhere. "Are you happy to be in love and to be loved by someone who finally deserves you?"

Tears fell down across her rosy cheeks as she started to sob while sitting by the side of the bed. Somehow, the emotions she tried to push and hide from everyone resurface once again. The guilt and the regrets inside her heart, it suffocates her every single day. Not knowing what to do to keep her feelings away from distracting her daily activities every time she spent her time with Christine.

"I know. I know that you hate me that much for pushing you away, out of my sight. I know that you hate me for everything I did in the past and what I'm doing right now behind you. Of keeping you away from your daughter; keeping her as a secret, to be exact." Fransesca sighed.

She laid her body down on the bed and pulled the blanket to cover her body. Feeling alone, empty, and cold. Feeling exhausted over things that keep on happening around her.

Thank God she attended the reunion or else, she would never have had the idea to stay alerted and cautious over the presence of Clayton. At least now, she could stop herself from attending those socialite's events across the country, which would have the higher percentage in chances of meeting the man accidentally. She knew how awkward it would be.

"As much as I love you, you're now married and I'm nothing but a mother to your daughter. A lover in secret, a person who rejected your love in the past. I'm nothing but the past and the hidden secret of you, Clayton." Fransesca wipes her tears. "Thank you for giving me the presence of Christine around and thank you for finding your one true love after I throw your sincerity and love away." she cried. "I love you and I always will. Perhaps now, it's time for me to stop. To stop thinking about you and start to wish you happiness in your marriage."

Fransesca wiped her tears away again with her hands and closed her eyes, trying to rest her mind and body after an exhausting day of unexpected information. Her friends were the best at searching for matters like someone's identity and perhaps, she should be forever grateful for it.

For their kindness to always be next to her amidst anything.

to be continued.