Sonata of The Shattered | Book I

Beneath A Moonless Sky

9 July 2022

The house became so quiet tonight as everyone entered their room already. Usually, he talked with Fransesca in the living room or by the swimming pool over Christine with a glass of soda on their hands. But tonight, it felt different.

After the fact that his mother spoke in front of everyone during the dinner, things changed. He thought that his mother lied but it was true— he knew it from her eyes, from how she reacted soon after. He knew it was true from how scared the woman was towards Gertrude. Was it because of his mother who knew so many things about her in the past? Of the secrets she hid behind everyone?

Was his mother actually true? That he should've let her go as Fransesca would never suit him, no matter how hard he tried or how much she put her effort into their relationship that is now currently only based on their daughter?

The fact that it bothered him since that truth reveal became something that ignited the curiosity within him. He decided to ask the woman and ask her reasons— on why she did it back then. On why the woman decided to 'sell' her body to that businessman. He put down his second bottle of soju on the table and walked up the stairs as he then knocked on her door carefully, but no answer was given. He knocked again, but still, no response.

Scared that the same thing like weeks ago would happen again, he decided to enter the room carefully. To check on the woman after the incident at the family dinner. She was nowhere on the bed nor the bathroom.

He bit his lower lips as panic now started to cloud his mind. The middle child of the Kingsley took some steps towards the balcony, where the sliding door was opened and found the woman sleeping on the chair with a book next to her.

"God— you scared me to death." he mumbled as she carefully carried his beloved to the bed. He put her down gently before he decided to pull the blanket and cover her body with it to keep her warm. Clayton walked back to close the balcony door until he saw that book that he had never seen before. He took it and closed the door soon after to keep the room warm from the cold night wind.

Carefully, he sat on a chair in the corner of the room and stared at the book cluelessly.

"Should I or should I not?" he mumbled. He thought it would be only a book full of her teaching plans but it turned out to be something much different.

It was her diary.
Her old diary.

He checked on the date of her last entry and noticed it was from 2014, when Christine was only a seven years old kid. As he read some of the pages, which he knew he shouldn't, it suddenly match the time when the pictures that his mother showed him before during the dinner were taken. So he tried to look for more... of her feelings and her life events back then.

That's when he saw it— he saw the entry of her accompanying a businessman for the sake of money. Somehow, his heart started to ache in pain. It felt like hell. As if someone scrunched his heart again and again.

"Fransesca, what did you do back then..?" he muttered as he gasped when he read the entry, even the next one as well.

Everything was written down there. From the location, time, the name of the man she slept with almost every once a week— even down go the details of how they treated her, poorly. Yes, poorly. Now he knew the reason why Fransesca did it. On why she slept with the man for money and he couldn't blame her for it. She did what she needed to keep herself and her daughter alive and well.

She mentioned her desperation and frustration of having no money left in her account as she used up all of her savings for Christine's pre-school admission years before. The fact that Fransesca even put her daughter into one of the prestigious schools in Singapore, also one of the most expensive ones there, became the proof that she wanted nothing but only the best for Christine even if it means that she would need to do any kind of job just for the tuition itself.

There, it was written as well how her father refused to see her until she mentioned the name of the man that made her pregnant with Christine. Yet she refused to do so and let him kick her out from the family, even the inheritance.

All the details, all the things he never thought he would find out from this book, the truth— became something that opened his eyes widely. The pain he felt inside for not being able to support the lass nor to be there by her side during those hard and lowest time in her life ruined him a hundred percent.The 'if only's could only be chanted and said, but there's no exact way to turned back time and let himself be in that year, where perhaps he could turned things into a better one for Fransesca.

He never thought that she would sleep with men just for Christine. He never thought that she would be harassed and abused by men just because she needed the money to buy her daughter foods for the next day.

Clayton Nicholas Kingsley knew her— he thought he knew her well but it turns out that he's not. He knew nothing or even less about her, thanks to this diary that he wasn't supposed to read. But he did it, anyway.

"I shouldn't have doubted your sacrifices in the past for Christine, Fransesca."

He wiped his years away with his hand and smiled at the woman who's currently sleeping peacefully on the bed. As the man turned the diary page to the next one, he saw a small pocket book being pressed in between. He carefully took it out and opened it, only to see several ultrasounds there. Kept beautifully to be remembered. It was his first time to see those pictures of how tiny his little angel was. He could see that the ultrasounds were taken in 2006, the year he left Singapore for the States, leaving Fransesca alone here with him being heartbroken from her rejections.

The doctor wrote down her symptoms such as severe nausea to the point where she was required to bedrest for the whole two months. He knew how severe it must've been for Fransesca, especially when she's alone with no one else but herself.

He closed the diary and put it on the nightstand next to the bed so she wouldn't notice it when she was awake. Clayton kissed her on the forehead and smiled.

He couldn't bear but to cry again and again next to the woman he loves the most. "Fransesca, I'm sorry that I doubted your sacrifices. I'm sorry that I can't be there in the past for you and let you go through hurdles you weren't supposed to face."

Clayton knew that Fransesca was brought in and from a wealthy family. In fact, the wealthiest in Singapore so she would be spoiled with so many things. Her access to easy things in life— though her mother taught her some strict independent basic rules in life, was something the ever experienced. Thus, going into a world with nothing of it must've become a nightmare for the woman herself.

"No matter what will happen in the future, my top priorities would be you and your daughter. Our daughter. I promise to keep you out from all the miseries of life. I promise to keep my faith in you." Clayton whispered softly.

"Now that I know some of your painful sacrifices, I'll provide you with anything that you need and one. Next, when you're awake in the morning, I'll tell you to stop working so hard to provide Christine and your needs. I'll be the one to provide you, everything that you need. I'm going to shower you with love, care, and all the things you need in life. I'm going to shower you with good things as well, things you always deserve to have."

He couldn't stop crying, as tears kept on coming down. His eyes were red and swollen from it. He kissed her again, final for the night, before Clayton turned off the light and left the room so Fransesca could rest properly.

Clayton walked himself into his bedroom and cried badly. He cried his heart out from all the overwhelming feelings. He never felt this way before in his entire fifty five years of life.

"I'm sorry, Fransesca."
"I'm sorry for being so clueless over your sacrifices."

From someone who has everything, to someone who eats only once a day or even in two days— a slice of bread to keep her alive; he did it. He did it indirectly to Fransesca.

"I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for accusing you. I'm sorry that you need to live that kind of life."

to be continued.