Kill The Innocent

Chapter Eighteen

Trust cant live in the same space as secrets and lies

unknown

***

"Declan slow down!" I called as I chased after him walking into the house. He stormed all the way up the stairs about three steps ahead of me.

He didn't respond to me. He didn't speak at all, actually. It was just him on a mission and me chasing after him. The entire car ride here was silent, but that was mostly my fault. He didn't particularly try to talk to me, but I didn't initiate conversation either. My mind was somewhere else.

It's a weird feeling to be grieving the loss of something you didn't realize upset you. Maybe this is why he was so upset. Could he by some miracle be able to read my mind? To know that I was upset about walking away from Callum?

It wasn't that I didn't want to leave with Declan. It's just that seeing Callum be hurt over the fact that I didn't want him anymore touched something in me--some kind of pain--that I didn't realize existed still. It was odd, and I didn't understand it, but I guess that's a side effect of not understanding any of your emotions. Which is also a side effect of being fucked up.

When we made it to our bedroom he put the code in and swung the door open, so far that it swung itself closed after I walked through it. "Declan, what is your deal?"

"Him!" He yells. "He fucking thinks he can just come back and take you? And you seemed off and upset and I don't fucking know if it's because you were pissed too, but it seemed a lot like you were upset to be leaving Callum at that bar and that pissed me off too and-"

"Calm the fuck down!" I yelled. "You need to speak to me like a regular fucking person if you want me to talk to you about fucking anything."

"Fuck!" He screams, spinning around on his heel and punching the wall. The noise that seems to echo through the room at the sound of his fist colliding with the wall is enough to make me flinch. I didn't expect him to do something like that. I don't know that I've ever seen him this pissed off.

"You're mine," He almost whispers. "Fucking mine."

"Declan," I say, taking cautious steps toward him. My hand meets his back and he presses his palm against the wall and lets his head hang between his shoulders. "It's okay, baby."

"Stop." He pulled away from me. "You-" He stops completely when his eyes meet mine. I watch a tear fall down his face. "You were upset, Valerie. I could see it in your fucking eyes."

I don't respond, because I don't want to lie to him. I just stand there staring at him and the tears falling down his face.

"Is it him you want?" He says the words with pain filling his voice. I've never heard something like that before from him. It breaks me.

"No." I answer. "It's not. I want you. Nothing will change that."

"Valerie, I don't-" He's cut off again. His eyes start to search my face for answers. Answers I don't want to give. "I don't believe you."

Now I'm the one that's hurt. His words hit me in a way that kills me, almost. I don't know how to take them. I try to hold back the tears that want to come gushing out of my eyes. "Declan." I take a step forward, he takes a step back.

"What the fuck." I say. "You actually don't believe me?"

"I saw the way you looked at him, Valerie. I'm not a dumbass." He says. "If you think I'm holding you back, I'm not. Go be with him, I just don't want you to keep telling me you want me if you want to be somewhere else."