ᖶᕼᓍᑘᘜᕼᖶS and Whatnot

> log.22

I made a full dinner for Ostara today! A herb soup with herb bread and deviled eggs! Abundance, life, rebirth, prosperity! And I'm in the midst of finishing the lemon loafs and cookies. 💕

The soup was so delicious and the bread was as well! I wish we had bread flour so it could've turned out softer and that I didn't think the amount of garlic the recipe called for would be too much and take it down a few tablespoons. But it was good! And for the eggs, I wished I had sour cream instead of Greek yogurt and champagne (mom, sister, did not come in clutch with their legal drinking age) instead of white vinegar. I am so full, though! It finally made me realize how tired I was! lol and I did it with a bandaged hand and lots of help from my brother.

It's also a sad day because my mom's dog was given up to the shelter earlier today. She paid to have him put down after the bite hold because they would hold him on bite hold, have her do the owner surrender and then put him down themselves regardless. It was a big change just as spring symbolizes...yet not necessarily a happy one. She was crying so much and I hope the food makes her feel a little bit better.

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> Log.22/.//02

My sister never shuts up, bro. I'm just...bye. I'll try to vibe on my own, focusing on something and then she comes with either something that causes my anxiety to flare up or political topics. I'm fine with talking political but every day? Everyyyy daaaay?! And she wants me to give her all my attention every time she talks and it's just...I just want to watch this show or write this or read this. Please shut up. I love you but come on. I get it though, she's probably ADHD and can't help herself.

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> Log.22/.//03

Amazon deserves to get got for human rights violations.

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> Log.22/.//04

Also, I don't think I'll be able to go to college? Like, I don't know if I'll be able to get FAFSA because it's been about 5 days now and no sign of anything. I won't be able to pay for college, not even an undergrad type thing—if I don't get financial help. I just...won't be able to go. I was planning on becoming a librarian or a elementary school teacher. I can't become those without college experience. I'll be stuck in a part time job that pays the bare minimum if I'm even able to get a freaking job with my fear of new places, people, interaction, filling out important paperwork, and making big decisions. I'm, like, internally freaking out just thinking about all of this.

I need to go to college so I can get a good job. Especially since my dad's health is shit and my mom's not doing too good either the same with my sister. But I don't know. I just hope I get student aid. I don't want to be trapped in life. I don't want to always be dependent on others or my parents. I want to be able to have money to help my mom as she gets older, not the other way around. Why does life need to be life this?

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> Log.22/.//05

Weird how YT says 2 ads but then proceed to give me 3.

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> Log.22/.//06

Dealing with my 22 year old sister should not be like dealing with a child but here we are. 💀 At this point, maybe I should be an elementary school teacher because I have a lot of experience dealing with kids or kid behaviours.

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> Log.22/.//07

Yes, I just helped my brother with learning how to make an email. Girlboss. jk but I did help him with it.

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> Log.22/.//08

That moment when you realize that maybe you still have unresolved family related trauma.

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> Log.22/.//09

Should I, like, make a Bumblebee fanfic? I already have little bits done with an OC because I love the idea of a wholesome different humanoid species relationship. It's like a pixie and human or omg a vampire and a giant. That's so cute! There's many ways you can write wholesomeness for that type of pairing. But in this instance it's a sentient giant robotic organism and a human with a cute lil relationship. Just uwu. omg maybe I can also write one with Ratchet! Now that would be interesting seeing his general behaviour to Earth and humans.

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> Log.22/.//10

I was debating on going into courses to be a physical therapy tech but then I saw a yaoi advert based on that shit and I just... absolutely not. Ew. 🤢 Ruined a whole ahh job choice for me.

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> Log.22/.//11

I had another multi-false awakening dream. I was getting so freaking frustrated and I even tried pinching myself in the last one (surprise, surprise, I barely felt it) but it only worked to wake me up when I pinched the other person. :/ I have so many of these things it isn't even funny. At least it didn't have a menacing vibe like the last one did.

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> Log.22/.//12

Can't stop thinking of Soundwave and Ratchet. Both my favs from the Decepticon side and the Autobot side. 💞

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> Log.22/.//13

If you think about it, Transformers is gay af. It's homiesexual fr fr.