Through The Camera (bxb)

chapter 9

After we both finished washing up and ate a pizza we ordered, Oliver begged me to let him stay the night and I agreed. It was late and we were exhausted, especially me as my back was still sore. The only bed in my house was the one in my room so we decided to share it, even though he insisted on sleeping on the couch at first. I can't treat a guest like that after all no matter who it is.

I returned to my room to already find Oliver lying there, looking at me. Hesitantly, I crawled into bed and turned away from him while snuggling into the covers. I reached to the lamp and turned off the light. It was now pitch black and I wasn't sure if I should say something or not. But Oliver decided to speak up first.

"Good night." he said and shifted, probably turning to look at the wall, our backs now facing each other. "Night..." I replied and closed my eyes.

But I couldn't make myself fall asleep, my head swarming with thoughts. Our first livestream together and the way he handled it well for his first time in front of a camera, at least I think it was his first time, lingered on my mind.

His almost inaudible snoring interrupted my thinking and I glanced at the clock standing at the bedside table. It's 11 pm already?! Time to rest I'm tired after all.

And with that I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.

***

The sun rose and birds began to chirp outside, sunlight hitting my eyes which woke me up. I rubbed my eyes and stretched my arms, feeling a little groggy. But I had to admit I felt well rested. Something I haven't experienced in a while because of work.

I looked over at Oliver who was still sound asleep and I couldn't take my eyes off him. He was laying on his stomach and hugging his pillow, his light brown hair disheveled and his lips slightly parted. I was the complete opposite, my hair dark brown and boring, my eyes brown as well. Nothing special. But Oliver at the other hand looked handsome. His ocean blue eyes, so beautiful I could stare at them for hours, but I never did. I never got the chance to. And this time as well. I suddenly had the urge to wake him up and look at his gorgeous eyes.

But before I could do anything he opened his eyes on his own, staring right at me. We maintained eye contact, not saying a word at first before I decided to break the silence.

"Good morning." I murmured looking away and got out of bed. When I stood up my legs almost gave in, but I luckily managed to catch myself. "Morning and be careful." Oliver answered and sat up, his eyes still closed and not used to the sunlight.

***

We sat down at the table and ate whatever I found in the kitchen, which wasn't much. It was quiet, only our eating could be heard.

"Is 70 and 30 percent alright?"

"What?" he asked with his mouth full. I rolled my eyes at his childish behavior, but didn't comment on it.

"I'm asking if it's alright to split the money 70 and 30 percent and I get 70." Oliver didn't think long about it before he nodded. "Yeah, I don't care how much I get."

That must mean he's at least a little bit loaded, no? But I'm glad he didn't argue, because I really need the money. This month's pay is due tomorrow and if I could, I would've taken every penny we made. I want to pay it all back as soon as possible. But that won't be happening anytime soon. Not if I continue to earn money at the rate I am right now.

Why did I get into debt anyway? It's all my older brother's fault. He gambled it all away in an illegal casino. If I could I would've never gotten involved with them.

But how could I when my brother passed away after being diagnosed with cancer. I still remember him on his death bed begging me not to tell our parents about the debt he was in and him crying and apologizing for giving it all to me. I remember crying and telling him he was the worst, but that I would try my best to get a job that pays well and pay it back in no time. But that hasn't happened yet. Not even after 5 years of working my ass off.

I hated him for it at the beginning, afraid every night and having nightmares about loan sharks, or whatever they are, coming to my house, demanding something from me I didn't have. I despised him for getting addicted to gambling and borrowing all that money. But I couldn't bring myself to tell our parents. I couldn't pass the burden on to them. Not when they are so busy.

All my hatred disappeared the moment I entered his hospital room like I did every day and walked to his bed only to find him not breathing. I remember screaming for doctors to come and crying my heart out when they told me he was dead. I hated myself for not telling him that I love him and that he was a great brother despite the things he did. I wanted to tell him it was okay, I wasn't mad at him and everyone makes mistakes, but I couldn't even say goodbye. The last moment we shared was me screaming at him that he didn't deserve the family he had after behaving like that, leaving all his debt to me.

It took me months to recover. I used to cry myself to sleep and it was hard for me to focus on school as my graduation was nearing. But I pulled myself together and graduated. Finding a job was harder so I ended up in an office. But I can't say that it bothers me. I'm just glad I found a job after going to so many job interviews. Nobody wanted to hire me because I wasn't anything special. I didn't stand out and at that time I looked like a walking corpse thanks to my depression.

It got better after I finally got a job as I focused on working hard so I didn't have time to think. My boss liked the way I put my all into work and so I even got a promotion.

Now that I'm almost 25 years old and still work at the same company I'm neither happy nor sad. I just go through every day like a robot. A never ending cycle. That's what it is. Although I don't have many friends, none to be exact, I don't complain and just repeat day after day. Sometimes I talk with some of my colleagues but not more than that. I wonder, will it continue on like this forever?

When I was little I always wanted to grow up fast and become an adult, marry a rich person and live the life. But here I am, still single and no motivation in life. Oh what I would give to turn back time...

"...ax! Max!" I was startled when I heard someone calling my name and I was immediately taken out of my thoughts. Oliver was waving his hand in front of my face, looking slightly concerned.

"I was calling you, but you didn't answer and kept zoning out. Is everything alright?" he asked with a worried face. I blinked a few times and it took me a second to remember where I was.

"Oh s-sorry... I was just thinking about something. What did you say?" He leaned back and sighed, running his hand through his perfectly styled light brown hair. "I was asking if you have any plans for today."

"I don't think so. Nothing comes to my mind." I answered. "Then what do you usually do on Sundays? Just stay at home all day?" he continued asking. Why was he so curious about my life?

"I always go grocery shopping." That's right, I almost forgot about that. The fridge must be almost empty by now. "Then I'll go with you." he said and I was hesitant about bringing him along, but after seeing the determined look on his face I gave up and nodded. I could use a bit of help anyways.

After finishing breakfast I wrote all the things we needed to buy on a piece of paper. We took my car and made our way to the nearest store.

He was of great help, carrying all the heavy stuff and we were done sooner than I expected us to be. We should definitely do this more often. Hanging out with him was fun even though we only went shopping. I even laughed a few times today which hasn't happened in a long time. It almost felt like spending time with a long time friend.

But we aren't friends. And I'm not sure if I want us to be.

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