AMBITION - ERENXREADER

𝕥 𝕙 𝕚 𝕣 𝕥 𝕪 - 𝕤 𝕖 𝕧 𝕖 𝕟

𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕔𝕣𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕡𝕖𝕥𝕣𝕚𝕔𝕙𝕠𝕣𝕡𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕖 (𝕥𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣)
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𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕟'𝕤 𝕡𝕠𝕧

"Ymir..," Historia trailed seconds after the brunette's heartfelt proposal.

Eren felt as if his heart was going to fall out of his ass. The three of you stood in...shock? Silence? Fear? Anticipation? All of the above? No sounds could be heard other than the whispers of the gentle wind and the occasional ballad of a songbird while Historia's gaze pierced through Ymir's. Right past the dazzling ring that Eren had helped Ymir pick out just a week or so prior.

"Yeah?" Ymir finally said, undoubtedly more nervous than the rest.

"You've not only accepted who I was from the start, but you've helped me become the person I am today. I love you. I love you so much and I don't want this to ever end," the petite blonde gushed as she wrapped her arms around Ymir, again ignoring the ring to instead give her full attention to her now fiancée.

"So is that a yes?"

"Yes!" Tears singed Historia's big eyes as she squeezed Ymir's larger frame even harder.

Thank fucking God, Eren thought. Nervous didn't begin to cover how he felt about the whole situation when Ymir told him that she was set on proposing. Their relationship had been so rocky the past month with Historia coming out to her parents, which obviously didn't go well. A small pessimistic voice in the back of his head begged for Ymir to run for the hills and avoid getting hurt.

What the hell did getting married even mean to him? He'd had a fantastic example of love and a healthy marriage through his parents. Even though Eren could tell that they had their highs and lows, overall they lifted each other up and made each other smile every day.

They did so even in the harder phases of their lives, like when Eren was a kid and they were struggling to afford to even put food on the table. He remembered when Zeke had to get a part time job during high school just to help cover groceries while his dad got through medical school and worked his way up in his career. Eren was the lucky one who was able to enjoy the fruits of their hard earned incomes by the time he was old enough to drive. By that time they had paid off their debts and had room to spend their money on luxuries, like Eren's first car. They'd even bought Zeke a new car as well, as a thank you for his sacrifices when he was Eren's age.

So with such a nicely painted picture of marriage, what was Eren's problem? Why did the concept of marriage make him so uncomfortable?

Marriage feels permanent. Permanent was scary.

And people leave.

What if one day you decided that he wasn't good enough anymore? You'd already proven that you were capable of leaving. It's not that he didn't trust you, it's that he wouldn't blame you if you did leave.

Even worse, what if you fucking died? Shit happens, life happens. He'd protect you forever, but death claims everyone at some point. What would he even do if something happened to you? He remembered when his grandpa died when he was seventeen, and how devastated he was. He locked himself in his room and didn't eat for days.

And that was just his grandpa, who he'd mainly only seen on holidays. He couldn't imagine what he'd do if something happened to you. No, Eren didn't handle death, or really any sort of abandonment very well. Maybe it was easier to cut you out now with his own free will, rather than let you leave him either voluntarily or involuntarily.

Or was that still the devil on his shoulder whispering awful nothings into his own ear? The same inner voice that forced him to push you away when Mikasa's secret finally exposed itself? The same pain that screamed that he wasn't capable of loving something as completely as you deser-